


Collision Course

by jess_louisee_1995



Category: Berena - Fandom, Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2018-12-30 03:58:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 32,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12100239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jess_louisee_1995/pseuds/jess_louisee_1995
Summary: When Serena Campbell steps out into the road, she has no idea that a car was heading straight for her. Thankfully, a beautiful and mysterious stranger pulls her out of the way just in time. This is the moment that will define Serena's life. But the stranger is hiding a secret of her own. A secret that she is unwilling to share. As people get involved and they are kept apart, can they overcome their major barriers- themselves?





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are quite different in this fic. Hopefully it will be well received.

Edward Campbell had always done what he thought was right for his children. When his wife Liberty had died from cancer nine years ago, he had been afraid he couldn’t provide a stable home for his kids. Left with a 14 year old and an 11 year old to care for, he was afraid he would not only let them down, but Liberty as well

But, 9 years on, he had managed it somehow. One daughter had just graduated from medical school, and his other daughter was studying journalism. He had taught them well, but somehow he was worried, particularly about his eldest Serena. She was a hard working girl but her dad thought it was about time she met a nice young man and settled down. He had met her mum when she was 23, the same age Serena was now, and he knew that if Serena didn’t get out there soon, she would never find ‘The One’ and give him any grandchildren. His youngest, Elinor, was so different to her sister. They were chalk and cheese, yet as close as sisters could be. Elinor was the life and soul of any party she went to, and her dad had lost count of the amount of boyfriends she had bought home in the two and a half years shed been at university. 

She didn’t need any help, but Serena did. He knew he had to help her, to do what was best for her. He knew that, as her father, a nice boy was what she needed. Decision made, she needed to start seeing someone and soon. Edward would arrange it behind her back, and then Serena would have no choice but to agree. 

**********

‘Morning guys, good party last night?’ Serena arrived in the staff room of the ward and was greeted by the face of her friends. Raf, Fletch and Morven has become like family to her the last five years at university. The fact they had all studied medicine had made them firm friends from the start. 

‘It was great Serena. You should have been there’ 

‘You know the rules Fletch. No partying on weeknights’

‘They aren’t your rules Serena, there your dads. When are you going to learn to have some fun?’

‘Hey, I can have fun!’  
‘Can you Serena? Can you really?’

‘Morven, don’t you start as well…’

‘Come on Serena, you remember the one and only party you went to. You has two glasses of wine and sat at the bar studying your medical dictionary. That is not having fun!’

‘I like my books better’

‘You need to have fun Serena. You’re a woman now… and a woman has needs’ 

Morven and Serena burst out laughing as Fletch said those words. What did he know about women? Raf patted his shoulder and shook his head at the girls. Serena felt so at ease with her friends, and they were right. She didn’t know how to have fun. After losing her mum, she had done whatever she had to do in order to keep her dad happy. But as she got older, he had piled more pressure on her. She loved him, but she couldn’t be happy. 

 

Little did she know, that her dads decision that morning was about to set her off on the path to happiness. But it would also be a collision course.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the lovely comments on chapter 1. Hope you all enjoy this one.

'Well that was a shift and a half, don't you think?' Raf broke the silence as they all exited the lift. 

'I love it when it's busy like that. Gives me a buzz'

'You would Serena'

'And what is that supposed to mean Fletch?

'Nothing, I'm just joking. Right, work's forgotten. Who fancies a few drinks down in Albies to end a stressful day?'

'You're talking my language. Few pints is what I need'

'Count me in' Morven piped up

'That's my girl Morv'

'Serena?'

'I can't guys, sorry. You know I can't.'

'Come on Serena. You need to start living your life. You're 23, and you're living like a nun'

'Fletch... what can I say? You know my dads rules. With Ellie away at uni he is just protective of me'

'No he's hard on you Serena, you're not his baby anymore. You need to start grabbing the bull by the horns and seeing what's out there' Raf wasn't meaning to be harsh but he missed spending time with his friend. 

'Look, I don't want to argue with you guys. Please, go, have a great night. Have one on me' Serena thrust a twenty pound note in Morven's hand and left the building, carried out on a gust of wind. 

'Well... goodnight then' Fletch called after her.

'Fletch, leave it. She's in a difficult position. Her dad doesn't have anyone else, he transfers everything onto her. She's dealt with everything. Cut her some slack'

'Morven, I'm only worried about her. She needs to have fun, I don't remember the last time she came out with us'

'I worry about her too you guys, but she knows where we are. Now, can we go and get the beers in? I'm parched'

Morven grinned at Raf the three of them started towards the pub just off the hospital grounds. 

 

Serena walked through the park with Fletch's words ringing in her ears. Was she living like a nun? Did she need to start having more of a life and tell her dad she needed more freedom? 

Since her mum had died, her dad had done his best for her and Ellie, and she didn't want to cause him any pain, but maybe her friends were right. She was 23, and outside of work, she didn't have a life. 

Okay, she decided to ask her dad... not ask... Tell? Yes, she was 23 and a grown woman... yes tell him that she needed more freedom. 

Deep in thought, she absentmindedly stepped out into the road and was a third of the way across when she heard a loud horn. Snapping out of her thoughts, it was too late. The car. The horn. The loud screeching as the car attempted to break. The blinding brightness of the headlights. Then... 

The grass. The gates of the park. 

'Are you alright? You almost killed yourself stepping out like that'

Serena was breathless and confused as to what just happened. Only one question could form in her head. 

'Did a complete stranger save my life?' 

Yes Serena, yes they did. This stranger had saved you from one collision, but just by meeting her has just set you on course for another one. You just didn't know yet.


	3. Chapter 3

It took Serena a minute to gather her thoughts together. She had been so buried in her thoughts that she had unwittingly endangered her own life. She could well be dead now, if a complete stranger hadn’t risked their own life to save her. 

‘Are you alright?’ Serena turned towards the voice, needing to express her gratitude to her saviour. Serena was still on her hands and knees on the grass in the park, and as she crawled around to face the person who had saved her, she glanced upwards. 

She had been saved by a woman of about her age which surprised Serena. She must have been incredibly strong to have pulled Serena back out of the path of the car as fast as she did. As tall as Serena, she had blonde hair that looked like it had never been combed. 

‘You… you… you just saved my life.’ For some unknown reason, Serena found herself shaking and a bit tongue tied. Probably the shock of what had almost happened… what else could it be? 

‘Don’t sugar coat it? I just pulled you out of the way of the car, that’s all.'

‘That amounts to the same thing in my book. I could well be dead now’

‘But you aren’t’

‘Yes, and that is because of you.’ Serena began to get to her feet but then her knees buckled underneath her and she dropped to the floor again. 

‘Are you alright?’ The blonde was suddenly at Serena’s side her hand on Serena’s arm, helping her upright. 

‘Yes, I’m just a bit shaken up that’s all. What’s your name?’

‘Bernie. Bernie Wolfe.’

‘Nice to meet you Bernie, I’m Serena Campbell. Thank you for saving me,’

‘You’re welcome Serena, but I was just in the right place at the right time that’s all. I’d like to think that others would have done exactly what I did.’ 

‘I don’t think they would have done, but I’m glad I got you anyway to save me.’

The two of them stood in silence for a moment, content in the company of their own thoughts. Neither realise that Bernie still hand her arm on Serena’s- they were both lost in their own thoughts. Then Serena’s phone began to ring in her pocket. Frowning, she moved away from Bernie and answered it. 

‘Hi Dad… yeah sorry… I’m just in the park… what... no I’m fine… well would you mind if I was a couple of hours behind my usual home time... no I’m not in trouble… I just want some time with my friends, I never see them… is that okay… Dad… I’m 23… alright… I’ll be ten minutes’ Serena sighed and put the phone down. 

‘Problems?’ Bernie raised an eyebrow after having overheard the entire conversation, but as it was nothing to do with her, she didn’t comment. 

‘Just my dad wanting to know where I was that’s all. Look, I have to go. If I’m not home in ten minutes, he will start to get worried again.’

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you’

‘You aren’t keeping me from anything. You saved my life, and now I have to rush off.’

‘It’s okay, the rest of the world won’t stop. I have to get to work anyway, I’m on a night shift. It was nice to meet you Serena, maybe see you around?’

‘Are you free tomorrow night?’ 

‘Are you asking me on a date?’ Bernie grinned at Serena.

‘No! No, I just want to buy you a drink to say thank you’

‘There’s really no need Serena, it’s okay’

‘Bernie, you just saved me from being mowed down by a car, the least I can do is buy you a drink to say thank you.’

‘Well if you’re sure…’

‘I am’

‘Then yes I am. Pass me your phone’

Serena handed her phone over to Bernie and watched her for a minute playing with the keys, before she handed it back to her.

‘You have my number now. Text me and we’ll arrange that drink’

‘Good. Right, I better go. Thanks again’

‘Theres no need to thank me Serena’

‘Yes there is Bernie, there is every need’

 

HI, ITS SERENA. THANK YOU FOR TODAY BERNIE. I KNOW YOU KEEP SAYING THERE IS NOTHING TO THANK YOU FOR, BUT THERE IS REALLY. ANYWAY, YOU'LL HAVE MY NUMBER NOW. THOUGHT MAYBE GO FOR A DRINK IN TOWN. I'M AT WORK UNTIL 5, SO ABOUT 6:30 IF YOU FANCY IT STILL? LET ME KNOW, THANKS AGAIN, SERENA. 

I WAS WONDERING WHEN YOU WERE GOING TO TEXT ME. THERE IS REALLY NOTHING TO KEEP THANKING ME FOR SERENA. BUT YES I AM MOST DEFINITELY UP FOR TOMORROW. 6:30 SOUNDS GOOD. WHERE SHALL WE MEET? BERNIE

GLAD YOU ARE UP FOR TOMORROW. MEET AT THE CHURCH OPPOSITE THE PARK? SERENA

YOU GOT IT. SEE YOU THEN. BERNIE x

SEE YOU TOMORROW, SERENA x

Both of them went to sleep that night with huge, wide smiles on their faces.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the radio silence... had a bit of writers block. Just a filler before their drinks in the next chapter. Is it a date? Who knows... hope you all enjoy xx

‘Serena, there is something I wish to discuss with you’ As soon as Serena entered the kitchen the next morning her dad was on her. Was it too much for her to get through one morning without him needing to discuss something with her?

‘What is it today Dad? I need to get to work… oh and I am going to be late home today’

‘You know the rules Serena, straight home after work on weeknights’

‘That’s the rule for every day, and anyway, this is for work’

‘Is it?’

‘Yes. Just a class in surgical management. Hanssen wants to see what us F1’s can do’

‘Right, well seeing as it is for work, I will make the allowance. Will Raf and Fletch be there?’

‘Raf will and I think Morven is going as well, but not Fletch. He can’t make it. Why?’

‘You don’t mind if I give him a ring later, just to check that you are telling me the truth and not gallivanting off with some boy’

‘Dad, would I do that?’

‘Serena, there is a first time for everything.’

 

HI BERNIE, IT’S SERENA. AM JUST CHECKING YOU ARE STILL UP FOR TONIGHT? SERENA x

HELLO- I KNOW ITS YOU, I HAVE YOUR NUMBER, AND YES I MOST DEFINITELY AM. 6:30 YES? BERNIE x

GOOD, AND YES. SEE YOU LATER. SERENA x

NOT IF I SEE YOU FIRST. BERNIE x

 

‘Serena Campbell, what is with that grin on your face? You look like the cat that got the cream’

‘Well good morning to you too Fletch. And what grin?’

‘The one stretching from ear to ear. Now come on spill’

‘Spill what?’

‘Come on Serena, tell Uncle Fletch all about it’

‘Grow up’

‘And there is our usual Miss Campbell, good mood didn’t last very long’

‘I’m fine Fletch, honestly stop badgering me’ Serena shook her head and opened her locker, pulling out her scrubs and identification badge. 

‘Serena, would you please mind telling me why I have just had your dad on the phone bending my ear about a surgical management class tonight?’ Raf suddenly appeared in the doorway with his arms folded and an inquisitive look on his face

‘Oh Raf, I am so sorry. What did you say?’

‘What do you think I said? I told him it was true and that I would be dropping you home afterwards myself. You know he would come and pick you up otherwise, and that would really ruin your plans,. So come on, who is he?’

‘He?’

‘Serena, you wouldn’t lie to your dad normally, so you must have met someone. Come on, I want to know everything’

‘I haven’t met anyone, well I have, but…’

‘AH!!!!’ 

‘Fletch! I am just going for a drink after work, as a way of saying thank you to her’

‘Wait, what? Her?’

‘Yes’

‘I didn’t know you were that way inclined Serena. You kept that quiet, you crafty devil’

‘I am not gay, not that there is anything wrong with it, I just met her last night. She stopped me being ran over, and I just want her to know I am grateful’

Fletch and Raf exchanged a glance between themselves. Fletch raised his eyebrows knowingly and Serena saw him do it.

‘None of that Adrian Fletcher. Now I must go and get changed. Leave you two to your teasing’ Serena marched out of the locker room and walked straight into Morven. 

‘Morning guys, what is wrong with Serena?’

‘She has a date with a lady tonight’ Raf said loudly, making sure Serena could hear him

‘I DO NOT HAVE A DATE!’ came the bellow from halfway down the corridor. 

‘Oh it is so a date’ Fletch said to Raf

‘What have I missed?’

‘I’ll fill you in Morven, don’t worry’

 

I HAVE SUCH A BUNCH OF INFANTILE FRIENDS. SERENA x

WHY? WHAT HAVE THEY DONE? BERNIE x

I TOLD THEM ABOUT YOU SAVING ME LAST NIGHT AND THEY SAID WE WERE GOING ON A DATE. SERENA x

WELL TO BE FAIR, I THOUGHT YOU WERE ASKING ME OUT SO I CAN SEE WHY THEY JUMPED TO THAT CONCLUSION. DON’T WORRY, WE KNOW IT’S NOT A DATE SO DON’T STRESS. Xx

I SUPPOSE YOU’RE RIGHT. Xx

I AM! NOW ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR SHIFT, AND I’LL SEE YOU TONIGHT. Xx

NOT IF I SEE YOU FIRST! Xx

COPYCAT! Xx

SO SHOOT ME :)! Xx

YOU’RE LUCKY I LIKE YOU SERENA. Xx

AND WHY WOULDN’T YOU, I’M AMAZING!! XX

I’M SURE YOU ARE. I’LL SEE YOU TONIGHT OKAY? XX

NOT IF I SEE YOU FIRST! XX

THREE STRIKES AND YOU’RE OUT! XX

!!!! (I’M SCARED) XX

YOU SHOULD BE! XX

Serena hadn’t stopped smiling the whole way through her text exchange with Bernie. They had a similar sense of humour and there was something about her that Serena found completely endearing. 

She was adamant it wasn’t a date, but her friends weren’t convinced. Was she?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos on this fic. Sorry for dragging this out. Hope you enjoy this one :)

Serena normally never wanted to leave the hospital, because it was the only place she got a break from her father, but today was an exception. Usually at the end of her shift she would dawdle between the ward and the locker room, but as soon as five o clock rolled around today, Serena was out of the ward on a gust of wind. Raf and Fletch watched her go, and exchanged a glance, their mouths turning up at the corners, begging to smile. 

Serena had rushed off to make herself look remotely human for her ‘not date’. Today had been a rather good day for her as she and Morven had completed a rather tricky operation without assistance for the first time. She was in a good mood and she hoped after tonight, she could have some fun for the first time in ages. 

Opening her locker, she pulled out her rucksack and delved into the pocket for her phone. Her mouth broke into a wide grin when she saw she had a text message from Bernie.

HEY. JUST CHECKING WE’RE STILL ON FOR TONIGHT, AND THAT YOUR FRIENDS AREN’T BEING INFANTILE ANYMORE. Xx

HELLO. OF COURSE WE ARE STILL ON FOR TONIGHT. I NEED TO CELEBRATE AFTER TODAY. JUST NEED TO MAKE MYSELF LOOK HUMAN AGAIN. Xx

NONSENSE. I’M SURE YOU LOOK JUST FINE AS YOU ARE. OOH, WHAT ARE WE CELEBRATING? Xx

I’LL TELL YOU WHEN I SEE YOU OKAY? Xx

OKAY. SEE YOU IN A BIT THEN? Xx

NOT IF I SEE YOU FIRST. Xx

CAMPBELL!! Xx

Raf and Fletch pushed open the locker room door to see Serena leaning against her locker with a huge grin on her face. 

‘You look like the cat that’s got the cream. What’s got you so happy?’ Raf snatched her phone out of her hands before she could react. 

‘Raf!!’

‘My my Serena, you have it bad for her don’t you!!’

‘I don’t have it bad for anyone’

‘These text messages beg to differ Serena. And look at that soppy grin on your face. You like her, a lot’

‘I hardly know her Raf!’

‘Tonight is the perfect opportunity to rectify that, now get going! Go and make yourself look pretty for your date’

‘It’s not a date!’

‘Whatever you say!’

 

Bernie and Serena had met at the church as planned and headed down the main road to a quiet pub that Bernie knew well. She had been here before and thought it was the ideal place. 

‘Go and grab a table, I’ll get our drinks. What would you like?’

‘I can get our drinks Serena’

‘This is my treat remember? By way of saying thanks for yesterday. No arguments okay’

‘Okay’ Bernie raised her hands in mock surrender, departing to get a table before throwing over her shoulder that she would have whatever Serena was having. 

Five minutes later, Serena joined Bernie at the table she’d found in the corner with a bottle and two glasses perched on a tray. Sitting down next to Bernie, she poured them each a glass and handed one to Bernie. Their hands met over the cool metal of the glass and Serena felt herself shiver, which didn’t go unnoticed by Bernie. Shaaking her head slightly, she took a sip of her wine and then smiled. 

‘Shiraz! My favourite!’

‘Mine too! I have no friends who enjoy the pleasure of it. They are all more beers and shots kind of people’

‘But not you?’

‘I never go out enough to experience the pleasure. Dad doesn’t like me to’

‘Where does he think you are now?’

‘A class after work’

‘What do you do if you don’t mind me asking?’

‘I’m a doctor at Holby City’ 

‘A doctor, what kind?’

‘I just left med school last year, but I’m on my surgical training to be a vascular surgeon. What about you?’

‘I’m in the same kind of work as you. I’m a surgeon at St James’

‘You’re kidding me?’

‘Afraid not. I want to be a trauma specialise, but for now it’s just general surgery’

‘That’s brilliant. We’re cut from the same cloth then?’

‘So it would seem.’

As Serena took a sip of her wine, Bernie sat staring at her for a moment, drinking in how striking Serena was. A smile began to stretch across her face, but she quickly regained her composure and directed the conversation over to the ways of surgery and what Serena enjoyed most. 

This was going to be a rather interesting evening 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos on this fic. Hope you all enjoy this chapter.   
> The end of their 'not date'  
> Who are they trying to kid?

‘There’s nothing quite like it is there? The buzz in theatre? Being able to save someone’s life is the best feeling in the world- sorry I’m rambling. Ignore me’

‘You are not rambling. It’s nice to meet someone who shares the passion for the job in the same way I do. You are right; it’s the best feeling in the world’

Serena smiled, and topped up the glass with the last remnant of shiraz out of the bottle. She had enjoyed herself so much more today than she had envisaged. She and Bernie had so much more in common that she had ever thought possible. She loved her friends, but it had been forever since she’d had an in depth conversation about the ins and outs of complex surgery. 

Bernie drained her glass and sat for a minute, watching Serena sip her wine from her glass. The two of them had been sat in the pub for a while now, just chatting. They both loved their jobs and they had enjoyed a debate about the ins and outs of surgery. One thing they were both agreed on was that there was no feeling in the world quite like the buzz of theatre. It was the part of the job they both loved. Bernie had been surprised that Serena actually enjoyed paperwork. Bernie absolutely hated paperwork- it made her nod off. But not everyone was the same. 

‘Earth to Bernie?’ Bernie jumped, feeling Serena’s hand on her arm, having seen Bernie wrapped up in her own thoughts. 

‘Sorry… I was just thinking you know…’

‘Not unless you tell me I don’t. What is it?’

‘Nothing really… just how we seem to get on instantly… there is a connection or something. Or am I completely off the ball?’

‘No, no, I thought the same. I think we are going to be firm friends’ 

‘Right… yes… friends’ Bernie faltered, suddenly finding herself tongue tied. Looking down at Serena’s hand on hers she swallowed uncertainly and moved away. 

‘Oh my god… look at the time! My dad is going to kill me. I’m so late home’

‘I thought he was aware you are at a class after work or something?’

‘He is, but he will have been expecting me home ages ago. He thinks my friend Raf is dropping me off’ 

‘Well we’d better get going. I have an early start in the morning anyway, and after two bottles of wine, I need some sleep to have clear head’

‘Can you not handle your drink Ms Wolfe?’

‘I can, but I don’t think my patients would appreciate me being hungover in the morning. And if your dad believes you’re at a surgery class, you turning up at your house drunk isn’t going to appease him is it?’

‘No, I suppose not. You have a wise head upon your shoulders Ms Wolfe’

‘It has been said Miss Campbell’

‘I bet it has’

‘Come on, let’s go.’

Serena got up from the table and wobbled slightly in her shoes. Bernie grabbed her gently, wrapping an arm around her waist. 

‘Okay?’ Bernie asked gently

‘Okay.’ Serena replied softly, her breath catching in her throat. 

Bernie smiled and helped Serena outside of the pub. Conveniently there was a taxi parked outside and Bernie went over to him. 

‘There’s another one on the way. You get this one, and I’ll get the next one. I’m sorry I kept you out so late’

‘Don’t be sorry Bernie, I’m not. Tonight has been the most fun I’ve had in ages’

‘You want to do it again sometime?’

‘Yes, absolutely.’

‘Great, I’ll text you then yes?’  
‘Perfect’

Serena smiled and Bernie and found herself staring at her, suddenly entranced and drawn to her. 

‘Windows of a soul’ Bernie said softly

‘What?’

‘The eyes. The windows of a persons soul’

‘You remind me of my mum’ Serena said suddenly, not sure of where that had come from

‘In a good way?’

‘Yes’

‘What’s she like? Your mum?’

‘She’s dead. Cancer. 10 years almost’

‘Oh my Serena, I’m sorry’

‘It’s okay, you weren’t to know. I don’t want to go, but my dad will kill me as it is’

‘It’s okay I get it. Go, before you get into any more trouble’ 

‘You will text me yes?’

‘I promise.’

‘Good.’ 

Serena jumped into the back of the taxi and waved out the window as it drove off. Bernie watched it go and stood for a moment, buried in her thoughts. Well, just one constant thought. 

Serena. 

As the taxi drove off, Serena sank down into the leather of the seats, smiling to herself, her mind thinking of only one thing. 

Bernie.


	7. Chapter 7

HEY, I KNOW WE SAID THAT YOU WOULD TEXT ME BUT I WONDERED IF YOU WERE FREE LATER? Xx

 

HELLO YOURSELF, I AM WORKING UNTIL 4, BUT AM FREE AFTER THAT. WHY, WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND? Xx

 

JUST A DRINK IN THE PUB BY THE HOSPITAL. I’M ON TIL 5? Xx

 

I’M UP FOR IT, BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR DAD? Xxc

 

TOLD HIM I HAD AGREED TO A DOUBLE SHIFT J Xx

 

SERENA CAMPBELL… YOU CRAFTY DEVIL! Xx

 

IT’S YOU, YOU’RE A BAD INFLUENCE! Xx

 

AM I REALLY? Xx

 

YES! Xxx

 

BUT YES, I AM MOST DEFINITELY UP FOR TONIGHT. MEET YOU OUTSIDE THE HOSPITAL AT 5:15? Xxx

 

SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN, SEE YOU LATER Xxx

 

NOT IF I SEE YOU FIRST! Xxx

 

WOLFE! Xxx

 

 

 

Serena was so engrossed in the text exchange between herself and Bernie, she collided with Morven who was entering the locker room at the same time as her.

 

‘Morven, I’m really sorry, I didn’t see you there.’

 

‘You were too wrapped up in your phone. I take it last night went well then…’ Morven knew she was right as Serena flushed a deep shade of red and her mouth broke out into a furious smile. Evidently after more details, she leaned against Serena’s locker, forcing her to stop and look at her before she could get her scrubs out of her locker.

 

‘I guess you could say that. Bernie’s really nice. I think we are going to be great friends’

 

‘Friends? Serena, the fact you’re the same shade as the beetroot in my salad tells me that you aren’t just friends’

 

Raf and Fletch chose the ample moment to pile in to the locker room. Seeing Morven leaning inquisitively up against Serena’s locker, told them that they were discussing Serena’s ‘not date’ last night. Excited they exchanged a glance and shut the door behind them.

 

‘I take it we are discussing last night. Come on Serena, spill…’

 

‘Honestly Raf, there is nothing to tell I promise.’

 

‘Oh yes there is. Serena you’re blushing. In the five years I’ve been friends with you, I have never seen that, so come on, out with it’

 

‘What do you want me to say?’

 

‘What happened! For god sake Serena…’

 

‘Fletch, nothing happened. We went for a drink, and we talked... and then I went home’

 

‘Is that all?’ The three faces in front of her fell and it was immedioately apparent that they had been expecting more.

 

‘Yes, that’s all. What were you expecting?’

 

‘Serena, you have it bad for her. That much is obvious. Admit it!’

 

‘Raf, she thinks they are just friends’ Raf, Fletch and Morven exchanged a glance with each other, before all looking at Serena; Fletch wiggling his eyebrows which made Raf giggle.

 

‘Friends my backside’

 

‘Excuse me?’

 

‘Serena, admit it, you fancy her’

 

‘I wouldn’t go that far’

 

‘Really, because I would. You like her, admit it’

 

‘We’ve only had one date…’ Serena didn’t realise what she had said.

 

‘A date! So, last night was a date then? I told you, you fancy her don’t you?’

 

‘Honestly, I don’t know. She makes me smile and she is gorgeous, but there is no point in entertaining the idea’

 

‘And why not?

 

‘Because of this Fletch’ Serena shoved her phone into Fletch’s hand, before reaching past Morven to unlock her locker. Fletch stared at the screen blankly for a minute.

 

‘It’s a number’

 

‘Yes Fletch, well observed’

 

‘So?’

 

‘My dad has set me up on a date with him. Tomorrow night’

 

‘Him?’

 

‘Yes, his name is Robbie and he is an accountant. Apparently what I need right now is a nice boy in my life’

 

‘But you like Bernie…’

 

‘So what if I do like her? We’re better off as friends anyway, and the less said about Robbie the better. The last thing I need right now, is a complication from him’

 

‘Just tell your dad, you’re not interested’

 

 

‘It’s not that easy Fletch. My dad isn’t like everyone else’s dad.’

 

‘Serena, he will just want you to be happy. If you speak to him I’m sure he will see sense. He can’t make you go on a date that you don’t want to’

 

‘Fletch, I know you mean well, but you have to understand that my dad isn’t like that. He’s old fashioned and you know…’

 

‘So where does that leave you and Bernie?’

 

‘There is no me and Bernie Morven. We’re going for a drink tonight and I will drop into the conversation about Robbie’

 

‘Serena, you like her. It’s obvious, no amount of denying it will make it go away.’

 

‘I’m not denying I like her. We’ll be good friends. Now if you don’t mind, I have a shift to get on with’

 

Serena pulled out her scrubs, put her bag into her locker and went to get changed. Fletch was right about one thing though- no amount of denial would hide the fact.

 

She was attracted to Bernie- very much so.


	8. Chapter 8

Serena’s shift had been a rather uneventful one- the ward actually quiet for once. She had been clock watching ever since she had returned from her break. Serena knew that she had to drop into the conversation about Robbie tonight, but she didn’t know how to, nor did she really want to either. She was 23, and her dad was controlling every aspect of her life. Why was he doing that? But why should she have to drop into the conversation with Bernie about Robbie- they weren’t joined at the hip, and Serena had only met her two days ago, so why was she worried about upsetting her?

Conflicted and immersed in her own thoughts, Serena was wondering whether to cancel the whole ‘not-date’ completely, but as she opened her locker at the end of her shift, she saw she had a text from Bernie.

HEY, I KNOW YOU’RE STILL AT WORK. I JUST FINISHED AND NOT A MOMENT TOO SOON. HAD THE SHIFT FROM HELL, WITH A BOSS WHO WANTS TO KILL ME. THE ONLY THING THAT GOT ME THROUGH IT IS OUR DRINK TONIGHT. JUST LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU’VE FINISHED AND I’LL BE RIGHT OVER. Xxx

HEY. I JUST FINISHED. ARE YOU OKAY? BAD DAY HEY? Xxx

SEEM TO BE HAPPENING MORE AND MORE LATELY. ANYWAY, GLAD YOU’VE FINISHED. I’LL BE OVER IN ABOUT TEN MINUTES OKAY? Xxx

I’LL BE WAITING Xxx

GOOD TO HEAR. SEE YOU IN A WHILE THEN YES? Xxx

NOT IF I SEE YOU FIRST Xxx

Serena smiled as she read Bernie’s last message- that was fast becoming the way they signed off from every message. Was it ‘their thing?’ Should they even be having ‘a thing?’ Serena had been meaning to cancel tonight to make it easier on everyone, but somehow she couldn’t. Bernie had had a hard day and to be honest, Serena wanted to forget about her dad and Robbie for a while, and have some fun with a friend.

Because that’s what they were. Friends.

 

Half an hour later, Serena and Bernie were huddled at a table in Albies. Bernie had insisted on buying a bottle of Shiraz for them to share, but she knew something was off. Serena had said very little when she had met her outside the hospital.

‘Serena, are you okay?’

‘Hmmm…?’

‘Are you okay, you’ve barely said two words since we got here.’

‘It’s nothing’

‘Whatever it is, it’s certainly not nothing. Come on, out with it’

‘My dad…’

‘Did you get in trouble with him for last night. I didn’t mean to cause any upset.’

‘No, no, it’s not that. I just want some control over my life.’

‘Why? What’s happened?’

‘He’s set me up with some bloke tomorrow night, on a date.’

‘Right, and you don’t want to go?’

‘It’s not that…’

‘Then what is it?’

‘It’s the fact that he wants to control every aspect of my life, I get no say. It’s complicated… you wouldn’t understand’

‘You feel like you’re life is running away with you, like you’re in a bubble watching other people live their life to the full. Almost like you’re treading water and you keep going under. Would I be right?’

‘How… how did you know that is how I’m feeling?’

 

‘Because, I’ve been there too. I still am there if I’m honest. My family pushed me into my career. I love it, don’t get me wrong, but everything I do is too make them happy. One time I wish I could have the strength to do something I want, I don’t belong there anyway’

‘Belong where?’

‘With my family. My mum had me before she met her husband Marcus. He’s raised me since the age of 11, but I know I don’t belong. They have their perfect son and daughter together. I’m the odd one out. My mum had no time for me.’

‘Oh Bernie I’m sorry…’

Serena was about to continue when her phone burst into life. Frowning, she answered it immediately.

‘Dad? What’s wrong?... I'm at work... you... you did what? What gives you the right to sneak up on me like that?... okay, okay, okay. Dad, I'll come home straight away. You are not picking me up.. the hospital, okay? I'll be there in a minute.'

Serena rang off the phone and buried her head in her hands for a minute, before looking up guiltily and making eye contact with Bernie.

'Problems?'

'Just my dad. He's coming to get me. Seems he phoned the ward to ask them something and they said I wasn't there. Sorry, I'm gonna have to go' '

'No, no, its fine honestly go'

Serena hurriedly pulled on her coat and drained her glass of Shiraz. She grabbed her bag and put her hand on Bernie's arm, shooting her an apologetic look and then rushed out.

 

Later that evening, Bernie was just heading to bed when her phone buzzed. It was Serena.

HEY, I'M REALLY SORRY I CUT OUR DATE SHORT EARLIER. MY DAD IS IN A MOOD. I'M IN MAJOR TROUBLE. I PROMISE I WILL MAKE IT UP TOO YOU. I'VE GOT A PLAN. FANCY MEETING UP ON SATURDAY FOR SOME LUNCH? Xxx

HOPE YOU AREN'T IN TROUBLE FOR SO LONG. OF COURSE I WOULD LOVE TO MEET FOR LUNCH ON SATURDAY, BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET YOU INTO TROUBLE. GOOD LUCK ON YOUR DATE TOMORROW. Xxx

 

I SO WISH I WASN'T GOING. THANKS. AND DON'T WORRY, I HAVE A PLAN. I'LL TEXT YOU TOMORROW, I'M HEADING TO BED. Xxx

GOODNIGHT SERENA Xxx

GOODNIGHT BERNIE Xxxx

Neither of them realising what Serena had said in her first text message.

'Our Date'


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the love and wonderful comments so far. Hope you like this chapter.

The next day was much like the day before for Bernie. Struggling to please her boss Nina- she seemed to have it in for Bernie ever since she'd first started at the hospital earlier on in the year. Nothing Bernie did was ever good enough and she was sick to the back teeth of trying to impress someone who would never give her the credit she properly deserved. 

Luckily, the hospital had one perk, and that was her best friend Alex. The two of them had met in army cadets at the age of 11 and had been firm friends ever since. Alex knew Bernie as well as she knew herself, perhaps even better. When Bernie operated, Alex was often the anaesthetist, and nine times out of ten that was a winning combination. 

The day had been hard enough but Bernie's mind was on other things- well one thing. A very pretty vascular surgeon. Bernie was wondering how much trouble she had been in with her dad. There was just something about her, Bernie didn't know what it was, but Serena was having quite the profound effect on Bernie.

 

Bernie had spent a rather difficult morning in theatre with Alex- today hadn't been a successful case and she knew she wasn't focussing completely on the job. Bernie wondered if she had given everything she could have done. 

'Alright Bern, what's up?' Alex had been trying to get Bernie's attention for a while, with no success.

'What?'

'You've been in cloud cuckoo land all day. You've been off for a few days. What's happened?'

'Nothing'

'Berenice Wolfe, when you say nothing, it's obviously something, I'm intrigued now. What aren't you telling me?'

'Well....' Bernie shifted uneasily in her seat. Alex knew when she was lying- she was completely useless at it in all honesty. 

'Bernie...?'

'I wasn't completely focussed in theatre. If I had been we could have saved him' Bernie answered delicately, trying to avoid the real reasons as to her wandering mind. 

'Nothing we did could have saved him. The tear on his diaphragm was irreparable. You know that.'

'I suppose'

'Now, are you going to tell me what's really going on?'

'Huh?'

'Bernie, I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I know when you're keeping me something. You're not ill are you?'

'No, of course not'

'And you're not pregnant?'

'God, Alex, no!'

'Well then, what is so bad you can't tell me?'

'It's nothing really. Just got things on my mind'

'Who is he?'

'What?'

'If you're not ill and you're not pregnant, then it must be a bloke. Come on, who is he? Where did you meet him? Do I know him?'

'Alex, stop. You don't know what you're talking about. Leave it'

'No, not til you give me the juicy details.'

'There isn't anything to tell honestly'

'That rather implies there is. He's not married is he?'

'He's not anything'

'Well something is eating you. No... wait. He's not anything? Have you met a girl?'

'Wait... what?' Bernie was completely thrown. That was the very last thing she had been expecting'

'You heard me.'

'What makes you think I've met anyone?' Bernie answered quickly, deliberately avoiding the question.

'I was just guessing before, but I'm right aren't I? Who is she?'

'She's just a friend'

'Really?'

'I met her on Tuesday. I pulled her out of the way of a car'

'You did what?'

'It was an instinct- an adrenalin rush. I just grabbed her and pulled her back.'

'And? What did she say? Have you seen her since?'

'Yes, twice'

'Twice in two days. She isn't just a friend is she?'

'Yes. Serena and I are just friends'

'You sound like you're trying to convince yourself as well as me. You've had two dates in two days'

'They weren't dates'

'Oh, so what were they then?'

'The first one was just a way of Serena saying thank you. And last night was cut short anyway. We'd both had a bad day, and wanted to enjoy ourselves'

'What happened for it to be cut short?'

'Serena's dad. He sounds like a right piece of work. He checks up on her every move. He's horrible to her, he's even forcing her to go on a date tonight with some random bloke'

'Ooh... yeah that's tricky. But you like her yes'

'I hardly know her'

'But you like her' Alex refused to let the matter drop.

'That's a bit of a strong word. I've only just met her.'

'Okay, do you think she is pretty?'

'Yes' Bernie answered automatically and without hesitation. 

'In an attractive way?'

'I don't know'

'Oh Bernie...'

'Anyway, even if I do find her pretty and am attracted to her, what does it matter? Serena is straight as a board... and she is on a date tonight anyway'

'You said she didn't want to go'

'She doesn't, but anyway, she doesn't find me attractive'

'How do you know that?'

'I just do'

'Have you asked her?'

'Asked her what?'

'For gods sake Bernie, get a grip. Have you asked Serena if she finds you attractive?'

'Well, no'

'See then, there is hope for you yet!'

'Alex, you don't understand...'

'Why don't I?'

'I should never have told you this. Can we just forget about it, I'm going to forget about her'

'Sounds as if it's too late for that, and if you're honest with yourself, you know I'm right. But I'll drop it, for you'

'Thank you'

Bernie gathered up her lunch and hurried out the staff room, eager to try and forget her conversation. But deep down, she knew Alex was right.

She was attracted to Serena. Very much so.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beyond overwhelmed with the love on the last chapter. I had planned on waiting a few days before uploading this, but after everybody begged for the uopdate soon, I figured I would do it now. Hope you guys like the slow burn between them- it will continue for a while yet :)

Serena arrived outside the restaurant, not sure what to expect from tonight. Her heart wasn’t in this date and she knew it. She didn’t even want to be here- her dad had set her up without asking her. But it was too late now. When her dad had shown her a picture of Robbie earlier that day when she had returned from work, she hadn’t been immediately attracted to him. 

Pushing open the doors, she saw Robbie sat at a table in the corner, and her heart plummeted. He wasn’t her type at all. He was quite a bit older than Serena- in fact he looked nearly her dad’s age. He had grey hair with a bald patch on top. He was wearing a grey suit that didn’t look right on him. But Serena had promised her dad she would come, so plastering a fake smile to her face, she wandered over. 

‘Hi Robbie, I’m Serena’ she held out her hand, but Robbie stood up and planted a wet kiss on her cheek. Resisting the temptation to wipe his touch off her; she hovered awkwardly for a second, before sitting down. 

‘Hello Serena, can I just ask if you’re from Tennessee?’

‘No, why?’

‘Because you’re the only ten I see’ Robbie burst into laughter at his cheesy chat up line. Serena grimaced- that was quite possibly the cheesiest and the worst chat up line she had ever heard. 

‘Does that work on all the ladies?’

‘Normally… but not you I take it’

‘I’m not one for chat up lines Mr Medcalf- they are cheesy, and old-fashioned, like…’

‘Like me you mean?’

‘I didn’t say that’

‘You didn’t have too. I saw the way you looked at me when you came in, just a slight hesitation. Only slight but it spoke volumes Serena. But I must say, you do look wonderful. That’s me being honest’

‘Well that is very sweet, and I do appreciate the sentiment’

‘Shall we start again? Pretend the last few seconds didn’t happen… if we go into tonight with an open mind?’

‘Why not? I would like that.’

‘Great’

 

Serena left the restaurant just over two hours later, feeling slightly uneasy. The evening had gone slightly better than she had envisaged; Robbie was a very nice man and he had a very dry sense of humour. She had agreed to let him take her out again- as an investment broker, he wasn’t short of money and he had insisted on footing the bill tonight. On paper Robbie would have seemed like a match, but Serena didn’t feel a connection with him like she had when she met Bernie. Thinking of Bernie surprised Serena, because they were just friends, weren’t they? 

Just as Bernie popped into her mind, Serena heard her phone vibrate. Bernie.

HEY, HOPE I’M NOT INTERRUPTING YOUR DATE WITH ROBBIE, I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU WERE STILL UP FOR MEETING TOMORROW? Xxx

HI. NO YOU ARENT INTERRUPTING ANYTHING, SO DON’T WORRY. YES I AM STILL UP FOR MEETING UP TOMORROW IF YOU ARE. BESIDES, I NEED YOUR ADVICE AFTER TONIGHT Xxx

WAS IT THAT BAD? Xxx

ACTUALLY NO, IT WENT BETTER THAN I HAD PLANNED, BUT I’M STILL NOT SURE ABOUT HIM. Xxx

WHAT AREN’T YOU SURE ABOUT? Xxx

CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS TOMORROW? Xxx

YES, OF COURSE, SERENA ARE YOU OKAY? Xxx

YES, I AM FINE. I’LL TEXT YOU IN THE MORNING OKAY? Xxx

OKAY. SEE YOU TOMORROW. Xxx

NOT IF I SEE YOU FIRST  Xxx

THAT’S OUR THING NOW ISN’T IT? Xxx

I SUPPOSE IT IS, YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE OF MY FRIENDS I HAVE A ‘THING’ WITH

OOH, I’M HONOURED Xxx

SO YOU SHOULD BE! Xxx

SERENA, ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH ME? Xxx

FROM ONE FRIEND TO ANOTHER I SUPPOSE, IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING. LOOK, I’M GOING TO GO NOW, I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW Xxx

OKAY, TALK TO YOU TOMORROW. Xxx

 

Bernie signed off and lay on the sofa in her flat, her mind a complete jumble. She didn’t know why she had text Serena, and was glad they were still going out tomorrow, but Serena had called them ‘friends’ twice. Was she trying to get a message across to Bernie or trying to convince herself that friends was all they would ever be? Bernie had been disappointed when Serena had said the date had gone better than expected, and she had seemed reluctant to talk about it anymore. Why was that?

Did Serena like Bernie? Why had she felt she couldn’t talk about it more? And the biggest question on Bernie’s mind- Why had she been disappointed about the date having gone better than planned? Did she like Serena?

Her head and heart finally found each other in unison and the answer screamed itself around inside her. Echoing up from the tips of her toes to the follicles of her hair- she knew the answer and no amount of forgetting about her would change it. 

YES.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the love on this fic so far. Hope you're enjoying reading it as much as I am writing it.

The next day brought about a certain amount of trepidation for both Serena and Bernie but for very different reasons. Serena was anxious to discuss Robbie with Bernie and see what she made of the whole thing- as well as trying to shake off the connection he was beginning to feel between them.

Bernie however was battling her own demons as to whether tell Serena she liked her. Despite her insistent to Alex, she had realised that she was attracted to Serena and there was little she could do to prevent it. But she had reservations- the fact that she knew hardly anything about Serena. It was all moving a bit too fast, but what should she do? She could tell Serena, and ruin the friendship that was already developing between the two of them, or she could say nothing. Neither option sounded very promising- Bernie found herself stuck between a rock and a hard place. 

The fact that Serena had been quite distant on text messages last night hadn’t helped matters, but Bernie supposed that she had better things to do and was conflicted over Robbie. But this morning, Serena had text her before she was even awake and they’d exchanged quite a few messages. So whatever was going on, she was much like her usual self this morning. But Bernie was still torn and in two minds over what to do next.

 

At lunchtime, Serena arrived at the restaurant to see Bernie there already, occupying the table in the corner. Waving at her from the doorway, Serena sensed a slight hesitation flash between Bernie’s eyes before she waved her over. Slightly perplexed, Serena went over, a grin on her face masking the nerves she suddenly felt rise up in her. 

‘Hey’ Bernie got up and wrapped her arms around Serena loosely. 

‘Hey yourself’ Serena returned Bernie’s embrace for a moment, before pulling away and sitting in the seat opposite her

‘You look lovely’ Serena blushed at the compliment. She had tried to make herself look as nice as possible without attracting attention from her dad. Why she had made an effort was a mystery to her, but she was glad she had and even more glad that Bernie had noticed. The silky grey on her top matched the embroidery on her black jeans. Topping the outfit off with silver sandals, Serena was pleased she had made an impression. 

 

‘Thank you, so do you’ Bernie was wearing blue skinny jeans and a checked shirt with the collar open. She was very striking and Serena smiled as she looked at her. 

‘What?’ Bernie watched Serena’s grin stretch even wider and couldn’t help returning it- her grin was infectious

‘Nothing, nothing. Have you ordered?’

‘No, not yet. I thought we’d get a bottle to share but as for food I thought I would wait until you got here’

‘Good call. Well, shall we have a look and order because I’m ravenous?’

 

‘So, where does your dad think you are now, because I’m guessing he doesn’t know you’re here?’

‘Of course he doesn’t. I told him I was going to a friend’s house to study for an operation I am doing on Monday.’

‘And he bought that?’

‘My friend Raf covered for me. He has done before, namely in the last week so I could meet you.’

‘That’s nice of him. Raf… he sounds nice?’

‘Oh he is, but he’s mischievous. They all are’

‘All your friends?’

‘Raf and Fletch are two of the most mischievous men I’ve ever met in my life. Morven is a bit more reserved but she has a naughty streak as well’

‘What about you?’

‘I have a naughty streak, believe me’

‘Strangely I do… so, has your dad always been strict?’

‘Well… he was strict growing up, but since my Mum died he’s been even firmer’

‘What was she like, your Mum?’

‘She was… well she was the best. She would make everything better no matter how bad things looked. She made me feel at ease as soon as she entered the room. That’s what made me think that you two were similar- you make me feel at ease too. I never realised how happy I was until she got sick. Within a month she was gone- so aggressive and we had no time to prepare. That’s what made me want to be a doctor- the staff in the hospital were so kind to my mum and did everything they could for her. My mum told me not to waste life because it’s precious, but I feel like my life is passing me by because I am too scared to stand up to my dad.’

‘Oh Serena…’ Bernie reached over and rested her hand on Serena’s arm. 

‘It’s okay. It’s been almost ten years since we lost her. It’s her birthday on Tuesday, never gets any easier’

‘I wouldn’t imagine it ever will. I wish there was something I could say, I can’t imagine how much pain you must have gone through’

‘And now there’s this whole situation with Robbie. I don’t know what to do’

‘How did it go last night? What’s he like?’

‘He’s old enough to be my dad, and he used these old chat up lines that made my skin crawl, but then he apologised and we started again. It went better than I expected but I’m still not sure about him. I told him I would see him again, but only to pacify my dad more than anything’

‘Serena, you can’t live your life to please him’

‘But he’s the only parent I have left. He wants me to be happy’

‘Are you happy?’

‘I don’t know’

‘Yes you do. Are you happy having to lie to him about who your with and what you’re doing all the time?’

‘No’

‘Well then there is your answer. Serena, just be honest with him. Do you want to see Robbie again?’

‘I don’t know, he’s quite sweet really, but there is still something about him that I can’t put my finger on. I don’t think I do really, no’

‘Well then don’t go.’

‘But my dad…’

‘Forget about your dad for a minute and think about what you want. You want to be a good doctor and have fun with your friend’s right?’

‘Right’

‘Well then that is what you should do. Bugger what your dad thinks’

‘You’ve got a wise head upon your shoulders’

‘It has been said. Something I inherited from my Mum’

‘You and you’re mum not get on?’

‘No, it’s not that. Me and my mum like you were really close, but then she met Marcus. He raised me since 11, but he always made it plain I was intruding in his family. When I was 13, they had Cameron and then two years later Charlotte. Their perfect little family, and I have no place there. I haven’t spoken to my mum for a while, only because every time she rings me, she asks me if I have met anyone yet’

‘But she hasn’t set you up with anyone has she, I would take that with a pinch of salt’

Bernie giggled, the sound like a brook flowing merrily through a well-lit wood. Her laugh was like a waterfall. Serena stopped dead- she could hear that laugh forever and she would never grow tired of it. Suddenly she saw Bernie in a different light. 

‘Serena?’

‘Sorry.’

‘Are you okay?’

‘Yeah I’m fine. You have an extraordinary laugh.’

‘Not one of my finer qualities I’m afraid- I hate it’

‘Hate it? Bernie, that is one of the sweetest sounds I’ve ever heard’

‘Really?’

‘Really. Look, I have to go to the loo, I’ll be right back’

 

A few minutes later, Serena emerged from the toilets and stopped dead. The table was empty. Bernie and her bag had disappeared. She went over to the lady behind the till.

‘Excuse me, my friend the one I was with, did you see where she went?’

‘Ah yes, she paid your bill and left.’

‘Left? Why?’

‘I have no idea I’m sorry Miss, but she told me to give you this.’ 

The lady passed Serena over a folded piece of paper. For a moment, she had no idea what was going on and why Bernie had left so suddenly without saying goodbye. Maybe there was an emergency- the paper would explain more. Nodding her head decisively, she unfolded the paper and stared dumfounded at the paper. 

For there was no letter, but etched upon it were three simple words. 

I Like You x


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Overwhelmed by the love from the last chapter- hope you guys appreciate and enjoy the update as much. I am loving writing this story- my first proper slow burn.

Alex knew when Bernie was upset and she wasn’t. They’d been friends more than half of their lives and Alex could read her like a book. She knew that Bernie had seen Serena on Saturday and judging by the way Bernie had been in cloud cuckoo land all day- it hadn’t gone as planned. 

‘So…. Saturday how did it go?’ Alex broached the subject over their sandwiches in the staff room of the ward. She had waited until they were alone- Bernie wouldn’t want anyone else involved or to know about what was going on. 

‘I did something very stupid Alex.’ Bernie shook her head and hid behind her fringe. 

‘What happened?’

‘We went for lunch. It was so nice to be there with her. She opened up about losing her mum and everything- I got to see the real her.’

‘That sounds like it went well’

‘It did, but then I ruined it.’

‘How?’

‘She went to the toilet, and then I decided. I paid the bill and left something with the girl behind the counter. And I left’

‘You left? Why? And what did you give to the girl behind the counter?’

‘I left her a piece of paper with the words I like you written on them. I knew I wouldn’t be able to see her face when I said them, and I wasn’t sure I could find the right words so I left. The ball was in her court, but now I’ve heard nothing from her. I blew it, I shouldn’t have said anything’

‘Whoa Bernie, you’re getting ahead of yourself here. You don’t know you’ve blown it’

‘Yes I do. Why hasn’t she text or rung me? I didn’t take my eyes off my phone all day yesterday, but nothing.’

‘She’s probably trying to work things out herself. What you did wasn’t the best way to do it, but I understand why you did it. I’ve known you too long.’

‘I knew I couldn’t say it out loud to her- you know I’ve always struggled with that, but I could write it. But now I’m worried I’ve moved things too fast and stuff’

‘You don’t want to worry. It’s not good for you Bernie’

‘That’s easy for you to say. It’s all I can think about, do I ring her or text her?’

‘You mean you haven’t already?’

‘No, I wanted to let her decide first’

‘Bernie, you run out on her during lunch, and then don’t ring or text her to check she’s okay. How do you know she even got your note, she might not have done. If she didn’t she’s probably thinking she upset you because you ran out on her’

‘So… you think I should ring her?’

‘For god’s sake Bernie, if you don’t ring her right now, then I will’ 

‘Okay! I’ll ring her’ Bernie raised her hands in mock surrender and then grabbed her phone and called Serena- not needing to find her contact because her number was moulded to Bernie’s brain. 

 

Serena was sat at the bench in the middle of the cloakroom with Bernie’s note on her knee. She didn’t know what she should do next- she wanted to call Bernie, but thought that since she hadn’t called her to see if she was okay, maybe she had changed her mind.

The question that had been eating Serena since Saturday was- did she like Bernie too? There was no denying she was beautiful and Serena felt such ease when she was around her, but liking her as more than a friend was veering off into unchartered waters. 

‘There you are… I’ve been looking for you everywhere’ Morven suddenly opened the door to the room. Serena folded up the paper and shoved it in her pocket, but Morven saw it and her eyes narrowed inquisitively.

‘Sorry… I’m just not…’

‘Got things on your mind?’

‘In a manner of speaking’

‘And by things, I mean someone’

‘What?’

‘Thinking about Bernie, and whatever it was you just put in your pocket’

‘I don’t…’

‘Serena, this is me. Just talk to me. I’m not going to tell the guys if that’s what you are worried about’

‘I…’

‘I’m not going anywhere until you tell me, so tell me’

‘Okay… look I am thinking about Bernie. I don’t know what to do’

‘About what?’

‘About this.’ Serena drew the piece of paper out of her pocket and unfolded it before handing it to Morven. Morven glanced at it and her eyes widened. 

‘Did you write this?’

‘No, Bernie did. We went out for lunch on Saturday. I came back from the toilet and she’d gone. She left this for me with the girl behind the counter. I don’t know what it means’

 

‘It means she like you- I would have thought that was the obvious thing.’

‘But why didn’t she tell me? She left that for me to find’

‘Sometimes it’s better to find a less direct way of telling people things. What Bernie did took her a lot of courage and thought- which at least means she spent time thinking about what to do and how to do it’

‘I suppose’

‘Did she tell you why she left it?’

‘I haven’t spoken to her since Saturday. I’m trying to figure things out’

‘So it might not just be one-sided?’

‘Huh?’

‘Do you like her as well?’

‘I don’t know… she is gorgeous that is for sure. She has a way of making me feel completely at ease, she makes me laugh- her laugh is amazing by the way and I really enjoy spending time with her.’

‘Sound as if you like her’

‘But I’ve never been more than friends with a woman before and its terrifying the life out of me.’

‘Ah… so you do see her as more than a friend? That means you do like her!!’

‘It does? Yes it does doesn’t it?’

‘Yes it does. Serena, you need to speak to her sooner rather than later. She probably thinks you’re giving her the cold shoulder. Bernie probably thinks you’re rejecting her’

‘Should I ring her?’

‘I think you need to do whatever is right for you. You shouldn’t ring her because I want you too, you need to ring her because you want to tell her how you feel, no other reason’

‘I want to tell her I like her. Well I think I do- no I know I do. Just things are moving so fast’

‘Tell her that. She probably thinks the same. Ring her, if you want to’

Serena nodded and pulled her phone out of her scrub pocket and was about to ring Bernie, when it burst into life and Bernie’s name flashed up on the screen. 

‘She’s ringing me!’ 

‘I can see that. Answer it then. I’ll give you some space’

‘Thanks Morven’

‘Anytime’

Morven rushed out of the room and as the door shut, Serena steeled herself and accepted the call. 

 

‘Hey’ 

‘Hey… I was just calling to ask if….’

‘Yes?’

‘If…’

‘If what?’ Serena knew what Bernie was going to ask, but she needed to hear the words for herself. 

‘If you’re okay’ Bernie chickened out and Serena’s heart sank. 

‘I’m okay, are you?’

‘I suppose so, just busy at work’

‘Me too… talking of which I have to go. I’ll talk to you soon’ Serena put the phone down. 

As Bernie heard the phone go dead, she felt tears prick up in her eyes. 

‘What the hell was that?’ Bernie has forgotten her best friend was in the room. 

‘I bottled it okay’

‘Not okay. She put the phone down right?’

‘Yes’

‘That means she got your note’

‘Does it?’

‘For god’s sake Bernie, how blind can you be to see what’s right in front of you? She obviously got it and wanted you to ask if she liked you. When you didn’t, she was hurt, that’s why she put the phone down’

‘But…’

‘Bernie, you need to talk to her or you’ll lose her’

‘I need to ask her don’t I?’

‘If you can’t say it over the phone, maybe writing her a message would be easier?’

‘You’re right’ 

Bernie picked up her phone and then it vibrated in her hand. Bernie looked at the message and then dropped it on the table, almost as if it had caught fire. 

‘What?’

‘Look’ 

Bernie pushed her phone over to Alex with a single finger and Alex stared at the screen for a moment before her eyebrows began to raise. 

I KNOW WHAT YOU WANTED TO ASK ME. SOMEONE TOLD ME ITS BETTER TO FIND A LESS DIRECT WAY OF TELLING PEOPLE- SO HERE GOES:

YES I GOT YOUR MESSAGE AND YES I LIKE YOU TOO  
xx


	13. Chapter 13

By the end of her shift, Bernie was in a complete daze about what to do next. She hadn’t been expecting that message from Serena at all, and despite Alex telling her to reply, Bernie hadn’t because she hadn’t known what to say. Bernie was completely shocked that Serena had actually had the foresight to interpret her miscommunication on the phone as nerves rather than rejection. The thing that most intrigued Alex about the text message was the part about the someone telling her its easier to find less direct ways of telling someone something- she wondered if Serena had been discussing Bernie with someone else.

 

But the only part Bernie was concerned with was the last few words- Serena admitting she liked her as well. But now they had reached an impasse, where did they go now? They both liked each other, but they didn’t really know enough about each other. What should she say to Serena, what should she do? Bernie had no idea, but she had to decide and soon.

 

‘Hey Bern’ Alex caught up with her outside the hospital.

 

‘Hey’

 

‘Have you spoken to her yet?’

 

‘And said what?’

 

‘I don’t know, maybe to tell her how you feel’

 

‘That is precisely the point Alex. I don’t know how I feel and I don’t know how to tell her anything. You’ve known me nearly all my life- you know I’ve never been any good at talking. I have always found it difficult to tell people how I feel- probably comes from being told in cadets that emotions are for the weak and that talking doesn't get the job done. Call it what you will, but I cannot find the right words to tell her how I am feeling.'

 

'I know that Bernie I do, but listen to me. Serena knows you enough and enough about you to have drawn her own conclusions. Why do you think she sent you that message, it was her way of filling in the blanks. A less direct way of telling someone... that line says it all Bernie. You like her and she likes you. Quite a lot it would seem to me. You've always struggled to express your emotions in any way, yet now you were able to tell Serena you liked her'

 

'But I didn't tell her. I wrote it on a piece of paper and was a chicken. I know we need to talk but I don't think I could find the right words and I'm not sure I could say anything. You know me..'

 

'Well if you can't say it, you can most definitely write it'

 

 

 

Serena finished her shift later than planned. She knew her Dad would be mad but for once she wasn't particularly bothered. Bernie hadn't replied to her message and Serena didn't know what to do. She had taken a big step in confessing to Bernie that she liked her. Every part of her knew that her family wouldn't approve- her dad was old fashioned and didn't like not being in control. What if the gamble she had taken was all for nothing?

 

'You heard anything back from her?' Morven appeared at Serena's side as she put her scrubs back into her locker and closed the door.

 

'No, nothing. And I don't expect to in all honestly. I think I overstepped the mark'

 

'Serena, she is the one who told you in the first place. That must mean she meant it.'

 

'How do I know that?'

 

'You don't, but you can't change what you've said. Bernie probably needs time to sort out what she wants to say to you'

 

'I don't know what I want to say to her though. I know I like her, but I can't even begin to imagine where we go from here. I've got to tackle my dad and Robbie... because whatever happens with Bernie, Robbie is not my type'

 

'Well, don't do anything too hasty. Get through tomorrow first. I know its your Mum's birthday and its going to be hard enough without all of this on your plate'

 

'I miss her so much, even more so lately, because I know she'd have been a great help about Bernie'

 

'You really like her don't you?'

 

'I think so. And its scaring me, because this has never happened to me before. And why did it have to be her? My dad is going to kill me'

 

'Calm down, nothing is ever as bad as you think. Go home, get some sleep, get through tomorrow and then we can tackle Bernie on Wednesday'

 

'Okay, night Morven'

 

'Night, and text me if you need anything, I mean it'

 

 

Serena was deep in thought as she left the hospital and made her way out of the car park. She was so lost in her own world that she didn't see the figure blocking her path and she collided with them.

 

'I'm so sorry, I didn't see you'

 

'It's okay. Not the first collision we've been involved in' Serena recognised the voice and stopped dead. Sure enough, Bernie was stood in front of her, a nervous smile on her face.

 

'W... What are you doing here?'

 

'I'm not stopping, I need to give you this'

 

'Give me what?'

 

'This.' Bernie reached in the pocket of her pink coat and pulled out an envelope.

 

'Not another piece of paper Bernie, I'm still struggling to get over the last one'

 

'Promise me you'll read it.'

 

'I...'

 

'Serena, please'

 

'Okay'

 

'Thank you'

 

Serena took the letter off Bernie and in the moment it took her to glance down at the envelope, Bernie was gone. Sighing and shaking her head, Serena opened the envelope. She was expecting a few words to be written, probably that Bernie didn't mean what she said, but instead what she got was something completely different.

 

_Dear Serena,_

_I must have fried your brain the last few days after I did a disappearing act on you in the restaurant on Saturday. I really am sorry for the way I handled it, but I knew that I didn't have the confidence or the courage to tell you to your face so I chickened out. If it wasn't for my best friend Alex, I wouldn't have rang you earlier, and once again I'm sorry for not being able to speak to you. I'm really not good at talking about my feelings and emotions to other people, but I think you had an inkling of that which is why you text me. I am really sorry to have caused you all this stress and things, especially with tomorrow being hard for you. I haven't forgotten it's your Mums birthday. I can guess you are probably missing her quite a lot right now and I certainly haven't helped matters._

_You pointed out in your text message about finding less direct ways of telling people things, so this is another way of me trying. I loved your text message, I cannot get it out of my head that you like me too. I really don't want you to take it back, but as for where we go now, I have absolutely no idea. I've never been like this with anyone before- you are the first person I have felt a connection with. I managed to get tomorrow off work, I wondered if you wanted to meet up and we could do something? Something that you used to love to do with your Mum, as it is her birthday. I don't know, and maybe we could try and havw a conversation about where we go from here?_

_I guess this is my way of trying to ask you out._

_Bernie xx_

 

Serena wiped away the tears in her eyes and pulled out her phone. She stabbed out her message and sent it before she changed her mind. Suddenly she didn't feel quite so alone as she had earlier on in the day.

Bernie heard her phone go off in her pocket and she pulled it out, her breath catching as she saw it was Serena.

 

I GUESS THIS IS MY WAY OF SAYING YES. MEET ME IN THE PARK AT 11? Xx


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Overhwelmed by the love on this fic so far. Thank you so much
> 
> This chapter holds a special place in my heart as Tatton Park is very special to me. The next chapter is a direct continuation of this one, but I wanted this to be a very calm and slow chapter. I really really hope you like it :)

Serena had rang Bernie last night asking her to meet her at the train station at 7 o’clock this morning. Bernie had depicted the slightest sense of urgency in Serena’s voice and desperate not to alienate her, Bernie had agreed, but she was worried inside. Why was Serena changing their plans now, and why were they meeting at the train station? 

Today hadn’t got off to the best of starts for Serena, as it was a day that was full of ghosts. Her dad refused to celebrate her mum’s birthday anymore; it was almost as if he was wishing she had never existed. Her dad had been suspicious about where she was going at such an early hour of the morning, but he understood that Serena couldn’t pretend like him, and he had relented, seeing the pressures of the day that would eventually get too much for her. 

 

*****************************

Bernie heard the train brake and it jolted her awake. The train journey had consisted of a change at Manchester Piccadilly and Bernie would have got lost if it hadn’t been for Serena’s arm trapped in the crook of her elbow. Bernie had been trying to follow her directions but all she could feel was she inner joy she felt at having Serena’s arm in hers. 

‘Hey sleepyhead’ Serena was still sat opposite her, two cups of coffee sat in front of her. 

‘Hey…’

‘I hope you don’t mind coffee… I figured you’d be thirsty but then I didn’t know what you like’

‘Strong and hot is all I care about. Thanks, was a nice thought’ 

‘It’s okay’

Serena picked up one cup and Bernie the other before gathering up their bags and leaving the train. Bernie had no idea what was in Knutsford or why they’d come here, but she suspected the place had some connection to Serena’s mum. 

‘Serena…’ the woman at the ticket barrier rushed up and enveloped her in a hug

‘Aunt Marjorie!’ Serena responded with such a fierce hug that Bernie smiled. She watched them for a moment, hovering uncertainly when they withdrew and the woman- Aunt Marjorie- turned to Bernie.

‘Who’s this?’

‘This is Bernie. I… I wanted to bring someone for support…’

‘It’s okay Serena, I know how hard today is for you. My dear sister would have been 42 today. How is your father?’

‘Same old…’

‘Why doesn’t that surprise me? Now, let’s get going. I’ll drop you off like always’

‘Thanks, you’re the best’

Serena walked off towards the exit of the station. Bernie made to follow her but Marjorie pulled her back and gave her a look that made Bernie feel curious.

‘What?’

‘In the 9 years since Serena has been coming here, I have never known her bring anyone with her. You must be very special to her, if she wanted to share this with you’

‘Share what?’

‘You’ll see, but a word of warning, don’t mess her around, not on a day like today. Serena has been through enough and today brings back happier times for her’

‘I wouldn’t… we’re not…’

‘If you are trying to tell me that the two of you are just friends, do me a favour. I saw the way you look at each other…’ Marjorie winked at Bernie, and followed Serena out of the exit. Bernie shook her head for a moment and then trailed after them. 

 

 

Despite initial reservations, as Bernie got out of Marjorie’s car with Serena, she was blown away by the view. The small footpath widened into a grassy bank that stretched off in various directions. But just beyond the edge of the green grass was a flat lake, the far shore a thin line in the distance. The lake mirrored the sky above, both of them the kind of blue that you only ever saw in children’s picture books. The breeze that ran over the rippled surface, blowing Bernie’s fringe from her eyes. Without the distraction of the view she could detect the scent. The early summer air was fragranced with the pine trees that circled the lake, growing so close that some had toppled in and others dangled roots into the water, trying to plunge the secrets from the depths of the water below. 

‘Wow…’ was all Bernie could muster. 

‘I know… every year I come and it never gets any less amazing’

‘What is this place?’

‘Tatton Park. My mum used to bring me and my sister here when we were little. I have so many happy memories here with her as a child. I always come here on her birthday. I like to remember the good times, and this place is full of memories’

Serena and Bernie wandered off down the footpath and before long were at the edge of the lake. There was a bench right on the edge of the grass and Bernie watched as Serena ran her hands along the back of it, before beginning to cry. Her instincts told her that this was no ordinary bench, and sure enough, on the back of the bench there was an inscription upon a bronze plaque. 

‘In Loving Memory of Liberty Andrea Campbell… who instead of many more had one more.’ Serena quoted out loud from memory.

‘Many more? One more?’

 

‘Years’ 

‘Oh…’

Serena sank down onto the bench and began to cry silently. Bernie watched her for a moment before sitting down next to her. Unsure of what to do, she snaked her arm around the back of the bench, not daring to reach out to Serena even though she desperately wanted to. 

‘Can I…. Can I ask you something?’

‘Of course’ Serena looked at her through a mass of tears

‘Surely this is a place that is special for you and your Mum? Your auntie said I’m the first person you’ve brought here in nine years’

‘You are’

‘Why me? I mean, why ruin your memories of your Mum and bring me here?’

‘Because I wanted to share this with someone… I’m tired of being alone… my mum would have really liked you, I just know it.’

‘Wouldn’t someone else have been better?’

‘This place has been a huge part of my life… I hope in time, you will be too… that’s why I brought you here… a bit of my past, merging with the present which I hope will continue on into my future’

‘Oh…’ That was all Bernie could say

‘Although, as far as first dates go I had hoped you wouldn’t have to see me cry, I look a right mess’

‘You couldn’t look a mess if you tried’

‘You’re so sweet’

‘I’m not, but I’m honest’

 

Serena looked into Bernie’s eyes, trying to see if she was being honest. Serena had become adept at keeping her walls up and being alone, yet after knowing Bernie for just a week, all the walls had broken down. Looking into Bernie’s eyes, she could see the insecurity she felt and the effort she was making to not run away. Without realising it, Bernie moved closer to Serena. Their hearts were in their mouths, as they both wanted nothing more than to kiss each other. 

But then Bernie thought she had interpreted things, and she moved away. Serena blinked back the tears and smiled sadly. Bernie needed some work but so did she. Their worlds had collided for a reason- maybe this was it. They were supposed to be together. 

‘Bernie… are you okay?’

‘Yes… I’m fine… more than fine actually’

‘Good’ 

Before Bernie knew what Serena was doing, she had enveloped her hand in hers and rested her head on Bernie’s shoulder. Bernie was completely shocked and sat frozen for a minute before she realised that she actually liked the feeling of Serena’s head tucked into her neck. 

Deciding not to read too much into the situation for once, Bernie relaxed and the two of them sat there watching the fishing going on in the lake, content in the knowledge that things would become clearer and easier as time went by.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has commented on this fic so far. Here is the second part of yesterday's update. The Japanese Garden at Tatton Park is lovely- if anyone lives near Manchester, I recommend a visit. 
> 
> Thanks again, and enjoy :)

The day went by far too quickly for both of them. Bernie knew that it would be hard on Serena- this place was so precious to her as it reminded her of good times with her Mum. And she had decided to share it with her- what did that say about how she regarded Bernie? It said a lot if she was willing to bring her here when they didn’t know that much about each other- well not enough in Bernie’s eyes. 

They’d spent most of the day wandering aimlessly around the gardens at Tatton Park. The place was a world away from their everyday hustle and bustle in Holby, but somehow they had both needed this day away- Serena especially as she was missing her Mum. 

‘This place is wonderful Serena… your Mum had great taste in days out’

‘She did, but this place was more than an average day out for her. She grew up coming here with her family, and then when she married my dad…’

‘What?’

‘Let’s just say it wasn’t the happiest of times, but every year on her birthday she would bring me and my sister Ellie here without fail. It became a tradition. Dad agreed I could scatter some of her ashes in the Japanese Garden. Besides the lake, this was her favourite place in the park’

‘Where’s that?’

‘Just here…’ 

Without realising, Serena put her hand in Bernie’s and pulled her into the Japanese Garden. Bernie found herself not knowing where to look. The garden itself was shaped like a tea garden and it was simply mesmerising. From the plants and the tress to the stones lining the mock Arched Bridge over the stream- nothing looked out of place. 

‘This is…’

‘I know, the Japanese portray many scenes, both mythical and factual, but all must harmonise with nature. The important elements of plants, stones and rocks are carefully placed to produce a natural balance. All the stones and rocks are selected for their form, particularly their representative shape. I’ve seen a mound to be built topped off with white stones representing the sacred snow-capped Mount Fuji, the most important mountain in Japan. I could spend all day in here’

‘I can tell… how do you know all this?’

‘My mum. She absolutely loved it here- she said it was her break from the real world, an escape from real world. I haven’t shown you the best bit either yet’

‘She sounds an incredible woman your Mother’

‘She was’

‘What’s the best bit?’

‘Follow me’

Serena put her hand in Bernie’s again and they set off down the footpath towards the bridge over the stream. As they went over the bridge, they stopped for a moment and Bernie glanced down into the water. Below the ruffled water surface was a fish: small, yet fast. Without visible effort it moved from plain sight, glimmering in sun, into the reeds before Bernie could cry out that she'd seen it. A smile grew on her face as she brushed her fringe out her eyes- this place was magic. 

‘Koi Carp, be lucky if you see one again. My mum wanted to get some for our house but my dad refused.’

Bernie shook her head as they walked over the other side of the bridge. There were a few stone steps and then the ornate doors that you would only have found in Japan. Serena lead Bernie up the steps and opened the doors. The room was covered from floor to ceiling in Japanese art. Scatter cushions littered the floor in an almost praying fashion. 

‘It’s a mock Shin-To Temple. This is my favourite bit. My mum often sat in here with me and Ellie and we had a heart to heart about our feelings, so now I thought it would be our turn.’

‘What?’

‘Bernie… I told you earlier that I hope you will be a huge part of my life in town, but I can see you’re frightened. Don’t you think I am as well?’

‘Frightened about what?’

‘Whatever this is that is developing between us. The way you ran out on me in the restaurant and couldn’t ask me what you wanted to on the phone. The way you had to ask me out in a letter- I think that says it all.’

‘That I’m useless?’

‘That you are most certainly not useless. You are the most considerate, thoughtful person I have ever known. The fact you wanted to tell me all those things and ask me out, even though you have difficulty expressing yourself.’

‘Serena…’

‘Let me finish. You know what would be the easiest thing… When I got your letter in the restaurant- stay quiet and say nothing. Do nothing. It would be easier for my dad because he is going to hit the roof, but I can’t, not when there is a chance that I could be happy.’

‘Serena, I don’t know what you’re getting at…’

‘I could be happy I think… Bernie, I have never been like this with anyone before, and I know we are nowhere near there yet… we both have ghosts and skeletons in our closets that we need to bury and make peace with, but I really want us to try.’

‘Try at what?’

‘I think we could be happy, because what I need and what I want are both standing in front of me. And I think you’re the same. If you want this too, want me you can have it in a heartbeat, but I need you to tell me. Because this going to be a never ending battle, especially as far as my dad is concerned.’

‘Serena…’ The words were on the tip of Bernie’s tongue but she couldn’t bring herself to say them. 

‘Please Bernie, I need you to tell me what you want’

‘You. This. Us’ Bernie whispered the words but Serena heard it all and her mouth broke out into a grin. 

‘You do?’

‘Y…Yes. I… I’m just not good… at you know… expressing my feelings… and I think that you are amongst memories of your Mum… is this the right time?’

‘It’s the right time. If she was here, she wouldn’t hesitate in telling me to go for it if I could be happy. Being here makes me feel closer to her, and closer to you. She’s with me’

‘She’ll always be with you Serena’

‘I know, but right now I feel as close to her as I have ever done’

Serena stepped closer to Bernie and her breath became ragged. She knew she had to do this- Bernie was too wrapped up in her own emotions to and she had been dying to do it all day. 

‘What are you doing?’ Bernie’s words were rasped and hoarse. 

‘There are other ways of expressing yourself that don’t involve talking’

Serena closed the gap between them and the second their lips met, their worlds had collided completely. There was no going back now.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for the love on the last few chapters. Hope the feelers are carrying on into this one. This fic is so important to me, hope you all really enjoy this.

Before they both knew it, they were on the last train home from Manchester Piccadilly. This day had been a combination of the past and the future for Serena. She had hoped that by bringing Bernie to somewhere that meant a lot to her, she would open up and she had been right. She had no idea what was going on between them and where it would lead to, but she definitely wanted to find out more. 

Glancing over the table she saw her grin mirrored in the face opposite her. Bernie was supposed to be reading her emails but she couldn’t stop glancing at Serena and smiling to herself. Today had been a day that she knew she would never forget. Bernie had always had a hard time expressing herself, but as she found herself getting ‘involved’ with Serena, she had a distinct feeling there were better times on the horizon for both of them. 

‘What are you grinning at?’

‘I don’t know… I’m just happy I guess’

Serena smiled in response and leaned across the table, taking Bernie’s hand in hers. ‘Are you?’

‘What?’

‘Are you happy?’

‘I think so… I can’t stop smiling so that has to be a good sign. I’m sorry, I’m no good at this’

‘And you think I am? This is new for me as well.’

‘I know… what happens now?’

‘How should I know?’ Bernie and Serena met each others eyes and began to giggle. 

‘Are we like…?’

‘What?’

‘Going out?’

‘I don’t know… probably…?’

Bernie rubbed the back of Serena’s hand with her thumb and they lapsed into silence for a moment. Serena could see that Bernie was trying to ask her something and she waited until she was ready. 

‘Do we… Do we tell people? You know… about us… is there an us… I don’t know what I’m supposed to say now… oh god…’

‘Bernie, its okay, I know what you meant… in regards to telling people… its no one else’s business really is it?’

‘Your dad…?’

‘We will cross that bridge if and when we come to it. For now, don’t you think that it is better for us to keep this between us and see where this goes. We can tell people about this.. us… when we’re ready and not before… okay?’

‘Okay’ Serena saw Bernie visibly relax in front of her and she smiled even wider. 

‘I… I.. may have mentioned you… to my best friend Alex’

‘That’s okay. I may have mentioned you to my friends. They pushed me into replying to your letter’

‘Alex forced me to ring you… you know… after Saturday… I was worried I had blown it… I nearly shot myself in the foot… but for some reason you weren’t mad…’

‘Bernie, why on earth would I be mad, I know it took a lot for you to do that.. leaving that letter wasn’t a decision you took easily. And what are you basing it on that you shot yourself in the foot- I wouldn’t say that’

‘You… you wouldn’t?’

‘No’

 

They got off the train, suddenly anxious that they were back out in public with each other. Serena’s dad had text her that he was outside waiting for her, so they agreed to say their goodbyes in the station to avoid being seen. 

‘Thanks for today. I know it wasn’t easy for you to open up to me, but I am so glad you did’

‘I know I need to change… I am going to try Serena, I really am… for you… this… us… whatever this is’

‘Its okay, I don’t want you to change… I like you just the way you are’

‘You do huh?’

‘Yes I do’ Serena grinned and in the seclusion of the station, she closed the gap between the two of them for the second time, only breaking away when her phone buzzed. She frowned when she saw it.

‘Your dad…’

‘The one and only’

‘I’ll let you go’

‘I don’t want to go’

‘Neither do I’

‘Today has been amazing’

‘It has…’

They stood in silence for another couple of minutes, Bernie working up the courage to ask Serena what she had wanted to ask her since they had got on the train earlier that day. 

‘When can I see you again?’

‘As soon as possible I hope’

‘Tomorrow?’

‘I am supposed to be seeing Robbie… but I think we both know that it isn’t going anywhere… dinner tomorrow night?’

‘Love to’

‘Is it a date then?’

‘I sincerely hope so. I’ll text you… if that’s alright?’

‘Of course it’s okay. You don’t have to ask’

Serena gave Bernie a quick kiss and then ran out of the station, so that her dad didn’t come in and look for her. 

Bernie watched her go and then felt a single tear roll down her cheek. 

It was windy after all she thought, except there wasn’t any wind at all. The only wind was blowing around in Bernie’s mind- a wind of happiness…


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the love and comments on the last few chapters. Means a lot that I know you all like it... Hope this chapter has been worth the wait. This fic contains a lot of me and my issues... particularly Bernie, so to know that people like it even a little bit is a step in the right direction. 
> 
> The story is about to take a step up in terms of cuteness I hope! Enjoy anyway!

Serena arrived at work the next morning with a spring in her step and in the best mood she’d ever felt in. She and her dad had spoken at length last night and he had agreed to put a halt to her ‘dates’ with Robbie for the time being. She used the word ‘dates’ but they weren’t. She had no interest in Robbie whatsoever- her interest and head had been turned by a blonde surgeon.

She had played on the work-life balance and said that she wasn’t ready for a relationship when she was still finding her feet. Her dad wasn’t happy about it, but after Serena had pleaded with him, he had agreed to halt things for a while. Serena was grateful for small mercies- while it wasn’t the best way to go about things, Serena knew it was the only thing she could tell him. 

‘Morning guys’ Serena’s smile was radiant as she opened the door to the staff room and saw her friends huddled around the table watching a video on Raf’s phone. However, when they saw her wide grin they put the phone down and Fletch raised his eyebrows. 

‘Okay…spill’ 

‘What?’

‘Serena, I’ve never seen you look that happy before. Especially not after yesterday and how hard it must have been.’

‘I don’t know what you mean Raf’

‘Come on Serena, you can’t kid a kidder. What’s going on?’

‘Nothing’

‘Serena, don’t make me resort to desperate measures’

Serena didn’t have time to question Raf before he was on her. Serena hated being tickled and he knew it. It was how he’d got her to agree to tutoring him through his exams in med school. It worked then, and it worked now. After only a minute, Serena raised her hand in surrender and Raf stopped. 

‘Raf, you know I hate being tickled’

‘Desperate times called for desperate measures Serena, now are you going to tell us all whats going on or am I going to have to do what I just did a second ago?’

‘No, no. Don’t you dare’ 

‘I won’t if you tell us why you are so happy’

‘I… I…’

‘I presume this is something to do with Bernie? Did you two patch up your differences after the whole letter episode?’ Morven probed gently. 

‘Wait, what letter episode?’

‘Serena and Bernie went for lunch on Saturday and Bernie did a disappearing act, leaving Serena a letter that said she liked her’

‘Oh she did, did she?’

‘Yes…’

‘I presume that you two have sorted it out now then, judging by the smile on your face. Honestly, its as wide as the Sahara desert.’

‘I guess you could say that Morven’

‘You guess you could Serena? For gods sake, I’m dying over here! I want to know all the details…’

‘Well… I spoke to her… she asked me out… I said yes’

‘You sneaky little devil. So, whens the date?’

‘Fletch honestly… we went out yesterday. I took her to Tatton Park… reminds me of my mum.’

‘You took her there for a first date?’

‘Yes Raf’

‘Well, she must be really special. You’ve never taken anyone anywhere that reminds you of your Mum. It’s a can of worms that you won’t open.’

‘She is special… I have a feeling in time I will come to realise just how much’

‘Aww… Serena Campbell, you have it bad don’t you. If you’re like this after one date, imagine what you’ll be like after you’ve kissed’

Fletch watched as the smile was wiped from Serena’s face and she looked at the floor, a blush rising to her cheeks and he knew…

‘You’ve kissed her already havn’t you?’

‘Maybe…’

‘Serena Campbell, you crafty beggar. How was it?’

‘I don’t know… not really…’

‘Did you like it?’

‘Yes Morven’

‘My, my. You really do have it bad don’t you?’

‘I’m not sure what you’re getting at’

‘Serena Campbell. Lesbian. Has a nice ring to it doesn’t it?’

‘Fletch, quit teasing’

‘Seriously though, I’m pleased for you. If you’re happy and like her, you should go for it.’

‘I do like her. Quite a lot it would seem’

‘You sound shocked’

‘I am. Its taken me by surprise. I know we both want to take things slowly and see where things go, this is new for both of us…’ Serena was cut short as her phone went off. As she pulled it out of her pocket, Fletch nudged Raf and he winked back, knowing who it would be. Serena smiled when she saw it was Bernie.

‘Is that her?’

‘Yes…’

‘Text her back then’

‘Haven’t you guys got anything better to be doing that interfering with my personal life?’

‘No’ came the answer from the three of them. Serena shook her head, but turned her back on them and focussed her attention on her phone. 

HEY. SORRY IF IM INTERRUPTING ANYTHING, JUST WANTED TO CHECK IN TO SEE HOW YOU WERE AND IF YOU WANTED TO MEET UP TONIGHT… DINNER MAYBE? OR PICTURES? Xxxx

HEY. BRILLIANT TIMING! SAVED ME FROM AN INTERROGATION CENTRAL… YES I AM DEFO UP FOR DINNER LATER. WHAT YOU FANCY? Xxxx

INTERROGATED BY WHO? XXXX

MY FRIENDS… ABOUT WHY I’M SO HAPPY TODAY. Xxxx

SORRY… MY FAULT I GUESS! Xxxx

GOT IT IN ONE WOLFE! XXXX

SORRY!!! Xxxx

IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER, ALEX POUNCED ON ME THIS MORNING AND WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT YESTERDAY. SO YOUR FRIENDS ARENT THE ONLY ONES. Xxxx

THAT DOES MAKE ME FEEL BETTER… SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR MAKING ME HAPPY. HOW VERY DARE YOU! Xxxx

GUILTY AS CHARGED… XXXX

MY SMILE IS EVEN WIDER NOW! XXXX

SO IS MINE. I HAVE TO GET TO WORK NOW. MEET ME AT THE PARK AGAIN, ABOUT 6? XXXX

PERFECT, SEE YOU LATER! XXX

NOT IF I SEE YOU FIRST! Xxxx

IS THAT OUR THING? XXX

I SUPPOSE SO. THIS… US I MEAN… NEEDS A CUTE THING DOESN’T IT? XXXX

TOO RIGHT XXX

SEE YOU LATER THEN? XXX

NOT IF I SEE YOU FIRST! XXX

Serena’s smile was as wide as it had ever been, and she knew it. She could feel her cheeks flushing a deep shade of red. She needed to go and get ready for work, so she put her phone back in her pocket and headed towards the door. 

The wolf whistles followed her out of the door and down the corrirdor.


	18. Chapter 18

Bernie had never been so nervous and excited at the same time before. Even the night before her medical exams hadn’t made her as nervous as she was in this second. She wondered whether Serena was as nervous as she was- Bernie very much doubted it. She wondered if there was anything at all that fazed Serena- yes she had been nervous yesterday but it had been a day that brought all her ghosts home to roost. 

Bernie knew that she would never forget the day she had shared with Serena yesterday. They had been able to escape their normal lives for a while, and have a go at being ‘together.’ Bernie smiled when she thought of them ‘together’. She had never said that before after one date and wondered if it was too quick to presume. She was so nervous about seeing Serena again, and she didn’t know why. 

‘Hey…’ Serena reached out a hand and touched Bernie. She had been so wrapped up in her thoughts she hadn’t seen Serena come in. Bernie jumped, obviously startled and then relaxed when she saw Serena

‘Hey… didn’t see you there’

‘Evidently. Are you okay?’

‘Yeah, I’m fine’

‘Are you sure?’

‘I promise Serena, I’m fine.’

Serena smiled and hovered awkwardly for a moment, wondering whether to kiss or hug Bernie. Bernie was thinking exactly the same, unbeknownst to Serena, and as the two of them met their eyes they visibly relaxed, smiles etching over their faces. 

‘Not the only one who is nervous then I see?’

‘No, but I am excited too.’

‘Good, because I am too.’

‘Serena…?’

‘Yes?’

‘Are you going to stand there all evening or are you actually going to sit down so we can start our date?’

Serena’s smile widened as she pulled out the chair and collapsed into it. Bernie seemed a different woman to yesterday- she seemed more open already. 

‘So… how’s your day been?’

‘Slow, what about yours?’

‘Horrible’

‘Why?’

'My boss Nina has it in for me. Nothing I ever do is good enough for her'

'She sounds like a right witch.'

'She is. I love my job but going to work with her everyday is horrid'

'Shame you can't transfer hospitals'

'I've often thought about it, but I couldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing she'd have driven me out. I love my job and I'm bloody tough. It will take more than that to move me. Sorry, I'm rambling'

'No you're not rambling.'

'Am I not?'

'No'

'You're just being nice'

'No I'm not. You're not rambling. You love your job like me. I get it more than you know. Luckily for me though my boss Ric is lovely. And the CEO is brilliant. But give me two years and I'll be running the ward and in five I'll be running the hospital'

'That's it girl, aim high'

'I want to be able to say I did something remarkable in my life. I want to be more than my mum was... she gave up her career when she met my dad. He didn't like her working with other men'

'You're dad sounds very....' Bernie searched for the kindest way to put it

'Harsh? Strict?'

'I would have said old fashioned.'

'That's putting it mildly' 

Bernie met Serena's eyes and the two of them giggled. Serena knew that Bernie's giggle was infectious, but when the giggles subsided into a proper laugh, she was lost in the moment, by how amazing it sounded. She smiled wildly and reached her hand out, taking Bernie's, who stopped laughing and just looked down at their hands. After a second she pulled away.

'What... What are you doing?'

'Serena... don't you think....?'

'What?'

'This... us... is moving too fast?'

'Bernie, all I did was hold your hand. But you pulled away. We're having a brilliant time.. I like you... you like me... we're both available... I don't see the problem'

'Serena, this... us... it scares the life out of me. I've only known you a week'

'And your point being?'

'I do like you yes, but I'm... I'm still... I'm not good with words... You know that'

'I thought... yesterday... you seemed more open'

'Yesterday was like a fairytale and it was lovely, but it wasn't reality. This is reality and I think we need to take a rain check'

'On what? Us?'

'No... That's not what I mean... I told you I'm not good with words... I just want this... not this... us... I want us to take things slowly'

'So you're not dumping me?'

'No... I just want us... to take things slowly... we have time on our side...'

'Okay'

'Really? Is that what you want too?'

'I just want you too be happy and comfortable. I know you aren't good with words but I hope... in time we can change that... or I can help you change that...'

'I hope so too'

'You do?'

'I do. I really do'

Bernie was still feeling like she was dreaming. She had been hurt before and wasn't taking any chances. Serena could tell there was something she was holding back but she knew Bernie would probably clam up, so she left it. Bernie was right about one thing after all... they had all the time in the world.


	19. Chapter 19

Serena’s mood was like a yoyo the next day. She’d arrived on the ward that morning smiling and obviously happy, but as the day wore on she was becoming increasingly tetchy and on short fuse. Her changes in mood were noticeable to everyone, but her friends suspected there was something else behind it- or rather, someone else. This had to be something to do with Bernie.

After seeing Serena look at her phone for the fourth time in a twenty minute period, Raf decided that enough was enough. Morven and Fletch were in theatre with their boss, so he decided a tea break was welcome for them both.

‘Come on Serena, we’ll go and get a coffee’

‘I’m not in the mood Raf’

‘I wasn’t asking. You can tell you aren’t in the mood, now come on.’

Serena looked glum as she followed Raf out of the ward and across to the lift. She pulled out her phone again, and stared at the screen. Raf watched her and frowned. What was going on with her today?

********************************************

Alex sat at the nurses station in the ward and shook her head. Bernie was being unusually quiet today- even for her. She had been okay when she came in this morning, but ever since she’d come back from theatre Alex had watched her friend retreat further and further into herself, and she wanted to know why. She knew that Bernie had been out with Serena last night, and she was worried that everything was no longer okay between the two of them.

‘Got a minute Bern?’ Alex got up from the chair and met Bernie halfway as she made her way across from the patient she had just been checking on.

‘What is it?’

‘Not here.’

‘What?’

‘Coffee now, we need to talk’

‘About what?’

‘Don’t give me that’

‘I really have no idea what you mean’

‘Well come with me and I will tell you what I mean.’

‘Do I have a choice?’

‘No, now move Wolfe’

**************************

Raf had managed to grab the table in the corner at the coffee shop in the reception of the hospital. As he made his way over with their coffees, he spied Serena glancing at her phone yet again.

‘Okay, what’s eating you Serena? And don’t say nothing, because I know you better than that’

‘Raf…’

‘Serena, you were as high as a kite when you came in this morning. And as the day has gone on, you’ve been getting more and more wound up. What is it? You saw Bernie last night didn't you?'

'Yes'

'So, how did it go?' 

'I don't know'

'What do you mean you don't know?'

'We were having a brilliant time, but then I don't know... things got awkward. I held her hand and she seemed to close herself off from me. I scared her off I think'

'What did she say?' '

'That Sunday wasn't reality and we needed a raincheck. She said we were moving too fast and that she wanted us to take things slowly. But I can't help thinking it was an excuse. I text her earlier asking if she was okay, but she hasn't responded and I'm thinking she's blowing me out'

'Serena, I think you are overthinking things. She might have left her phone in her locker, might not have heard it go off. She said she wanted you to take things slowly, that sounds sensible. You haven't known each other very long' '

'Why hasn't she text me back then? Have I done something wrong?' 

'I don't know Serena. From what you and Morven have told us about Bernie, she seems to struggle to communicate. Maybe she hasn't replied because she doesn't know what to say' '

'I suppose. She says she isn't very good with words' '

Well there you go'

Serena was about to reply when her pager went off, summoning her back up to the ward. She sighed and left without another word. She thought Raf was probably right, but something was niggling at her. Bernie had closed herself off last night and Serena was worried, she'd never liked anyone after barely a week and she didn't want to blow it before they got started. Raf watched as Serena answered her pager and then left without so much as a goodbye. He didn't know what he could say to Serena to reassure her. Then his eyes fell on the table and his mouth stretched into a grin.

*****************************

'Alright Bernie, you've been quiet all day. Spit it out'

'What?'

'Did things with Serena not go well last night?'

'No... yes... well they went okay.'

'Bernie... what's wrong?'

'She... um... she held my hand and I pulled away. I said we needed to slow down... and she's text me this morning asking if I'm okay. In honesty, I don't know if I am. The way I connect with her is scaring me half to death. I've only known her a week...' '

Precisely.'

'What?'

'You've known her a week. Bernie, nobody is suggesting the two of you elope and get married or anything. She wants to know you're okay and after last night I can't say I blame her. Stop worrying over nothing and just see where things go. You like her yes?'

'Yes, but that's what scares me. I like her... a lot'

'Why does it scare you?'

'Alex, I shouldn't be like this after a week of knowing her. It's overwhelming. I said I wanted us to take things slowly and I meant it, but now I'm wondering whether to call it off'

'You don't mean that...?' '

'Alex, she has a lot with her dad and her job. The last thing she needs is me'

'Forgive me, but I think you are exactly what she needs. Serena sounds like she's been through a lot and being with you makes her happy. You're happy as well, so what's the problem?'

'Me! I'm the problem!'

'Is this about Marcus?' '

'Don't... Don't say it.... Alex you said you would never say his name again'

'I know, but that's what's really going on here isn't it? That's why you won't let yourself get close to anyone else, you're scared'

'Of course I'm scared. Please don't bring this up here. I can't do this'

Bernie ran out of the room in a panic, running away from whatever it was that frightened her to death. Alex ran a hand through her hair, cursing herself for bringing it up. But why was Bernie going to let her past interfere with her future? Serena wouldn't be around forever if Bernie kept blowing hot and cold. What could she do?

Then the phone on the table rang... this would answer her question.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Overwhelmed with the love I've experienced on this fic so far. Thank you to everyone for the lovely comments...
> 
> I think these two are about due some interference from a couple of mischievous and crafty friends, who know how unhappy they are. Hope you enjoy it :)

‘Raf, I’m not in the mood for a drink. I wouldn’t be very good company’

‘Serena, I am your friend, and as your friend I am insisting you come out with me.’

‘Why?’

‘Because you need cheering up that’s why’

‘Raf, I know you mean well, but…’

‘Serena, you never have any fun, and I am worried about you. You need cheering up and I’m not taking no for an answer’

‘Okay, doesn’t sound like I have much choice. Just one though?’’

‘Good. Meet me outside in half an hour?’

‘Where are you going?’

‘Got some paperwork to file with Hanssen. I’ll see you in a bit’

‘Okay’

Serena watched as Raf left the staff room and her eyes dropped once again to the floor. Today was a day she wanted to forget. Well work hadn’t been that bad- it was just Bernie. Why wouldn’t she text Serena? Had she done something wrong? Or was this her way of cutting communications and ties with Serena? She had seemed off but okay after last night. 

Serena knew that Bernie struggled with words and there must be a reason for that, but there was something more to this than Bernie decisively ignoring her. But how could she broach the subject with Bernie when she wouldn’t even talk to her? She didn’t know but she knew she had to do something, because she was in too deep to turn and walk away- that wasn’t an option and neither was waiting for her to text. She decided to talk things through with Raf that evening- he was a good listener and maybe he could help her decide the best way to go around this?

***************************************************************************************

Bernie’s shift came to an end and she didn’t know what to do with herself. Yesterday she’d shot straight off to prepare for her date but tonight she wasn’t in any hurry to go anywhere. She dawdled along the corridor, aimlessly kicking a screwed up bit of paper before two feet stopped in front of her. 

‘Alex…’ Bernie recognised the trainers and knew who it was without even looking up

‘You didn’t think I was going to go home and leave you on your own did you, after the day you’ve had?’

‘Please don’t bring up Serena again. I cannot open that can of worms’

‘Hey, I’m not going to mention it, I promise. I think me and you should go for a drink and make a point not to discuss anything about our love lives, or distinct lack of in my case. What do you say?’

‘It’s a nice thought, but I don’t think tonight is the right time. Maybe another night?’

‘Bernie, come on. We haven’t been out for ages. Come on, it will be fun’

‘Fun is the last thing I want right now’ 

‘I want to go out for a drink with my best bud and forget about real life for an hour or so. That isn’t too much to ask’

‘If I say yes, will that shut you up?’

‘Yes’

‘Fine, then yes’

‘Good, right then Wolfe, go and get your things. I’ll go and get my car and we’ll go okay?’

‘Okay’

Alex sprinted off down the corridor and Bernie sighed, unconsciously blowing her fringe out of her eyes. She really didn’t want to go out at all- all she wanted to do was to crawl into bed with a bottle of wine and drown her sorrows. She needed to make sense of the situation in her head and separate her fears from her happiness. But the trouble with Bernie- each of those things went hand in hand with each other and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She knew that from bitter experience. 

Her thoughts turned to Serena and what she must be thinking of her right now, but then she shook her head furiously, determined to try and forget the effects of the brunette on her, but she knew deep down that she never would. Maybe she should delete her number and try to get on with her life- if she was too busy to think of her then there would never be any time to sit and dwell on what might have been. 

****************************************************************************************

‘Raf, can I ask you something?’

‘Of course, what’s on your mind?’

‘Bernie… I know she struggles with words, but I’m worried. There is something she isn’t willing to share yet- something that happened to her to explain why she can’t just let go and open up. What do you think I should do? Because I can’t turn around and let go. Not after the closeness we felt at the weekend.’

‘Serena, in all honesty, I have no idea what you should do. You really like her don’t you?’

‘Yes, I don’t know why, but there is something about her’

‘Well if you think she’s worth it, then you must do whatever you think is best’

‘I need to talk to her’

‘No time like the present’

‘What?’

‘Look…’ Serena followed Raf’s finger and she turned around. There was Bernie in the doorway with a brunette she had never seen before. 

‘What is she doing here?’

‘Its no coincidence Serena’

‘What do you mean?’

‘After you left earlier, you left your phone. I rang Bernie’s phone and her friend Alex answered. She said she was as miserable as you, and we thought if the two of you met somewhere neutral, you might be able to talk to each other openly and honestly’

‘You knew she was coming… this is why you wanted us to go out for a drink?’

‘Yes, Serena you like her and I hated to see you unhappy. I had to try and help’

Serena was shocked but then she realised that now was the perfect opportunity to pin Bernie down and talk to her. It was now or never. 

But then Bernie turned, and her eyes met Serena’s. She stood rooted to the spot, but then turned and looked accusingly at Alex. 

‘You knew about this…’

‘Bernie, you need to talk to her. She rang you earlier, well I thought it was her, but it was her friend Raf. Serena has been in tears on and off all dya because you wouldn’t answer her text message. Does that sound to you that she doesn’t need you? We had to get the two of you together… you would have just left it otherwise and I’m not letting that happen. Not after Marcus…’

‘No! Don’t… stop. I am not doing this now. I can’t believe you did this Alex. I thought we were friends’

‘We are, and it’s because I know you that I did this. You will thank me in the long run. Bernie, you’ve been running for too long- it’s time to stop and be happy.’

‘If you mention his name again, I will never speak to you again. I cannot and will not do this. Not here.’ Bernie took a parting glance at Serena and mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ before running out of the pub.

Serena’s heart broke a little as Bernie ran out on her, but she had already made the decision and she followed her instantly. She knew Bernie was running from her, but Serena wanted to know why and she wasn’t going to let her slip away from her. 

‘Bernie!’ Serena reached the car park of the pub and couldn’t see her. She’d gone, but then she heard loud sobbing from around the side of the building. Instinct telling her to investigate, Serena went and there was Bernie, huddled on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. 

‘Bernie…’

‘Please Serena, leave me alone’ Bernie stood up when Serena approached her

‘I can’t. Why won’t you talk to me?’

‘Serena, please…’

‘Bernie, I am not going anywhere until you talk to me. Raf and Alex wanted us to talk..’

‘I’m sorry… I had no idea they were planning this…’

‘Neither did I, but I’m glad they did. Right now, I’m worried about. A lot’

‘You don’t need to be. Please, just go. Leave me alone’

‘I can’t do that. Talk to me Bernie, please. You were off last night, and you’ve gone mute on me today. Why?’

‘Serena, I can’t…’

‘Can’t what? Tell me?’ 

‘Yes, please don’t make me’

‘Bernie, I would never make you do anything, but I need to understand. If I thought you didn’t want this anymore I’d just leave it, but I can’t leave it’

‘Why not?’

‘Because I’m in too deep Bernie, and you are as well if you’re honest with yourself’

‘What do you want?’

‘What do I want? I want you, plain and simple’

‘Serena, I’m complicated… there are things I haven’t told anyone and can’t tell anyone. I can’t… I’m sorry’

Serena took a step closer to Bernie, knowing that she had to make the move here. 

‘Listen to me. Forget about everything else for just a minute. Think about what its like when its just you and me. Think about Saturday, when I laid my heart on the line and you said you wanted this. You wanted us. I know you meant it. And I can prove it.’

‘What do you…?’

The question died on Bernie’s lips as Serena leaned in and closed the gap between the two of them, deciding to show Bernie, rather than telling her. 

Despite everything she had said to Alex and Serena, Bernie kissed her back almost instantly.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all like this chapter. :)

For a second all that mattered was the two of them. The angst and the upset of the last few days melted away the instant their lips touched. After the day they’d had, they finally had an outlet to convey all of their pent up hurt and upset. 

But then Bernie’s head realised what she was doing and she pulled away from Serena, her eyes ablaze with fear like she had been caught taking the last biscuit out of the jar. 

‘W… What did… did you do that for?’

‘Do what?’

‘You… k… kissed me’

‘Yes, and you kissed me back. I told you I could prove you meant what you said on Tuesday. You do want to be with me and I want to be with you’

‘Serena…’

‘Bernie, I don’t understand why you are making this hard for yourself. The fact you just kissed me back means that you still like me, despite you trying to push me away. Well it won’t work’

‘Serena, please, I can’t do this now’

‘I know there is something you aren’t telling me. Why can’t you let yourself be happy?’

‘The fact that you’ve asked me that means you’ll never understand. I’m sorry but I can’t do this.’

Bernie pushed past Serena and ran out towards the main road. Serena did nothing but watched her go and let the tears fall down her cheeks. What was so bad that Bernie was running from and why wouldn’t she tell her what it was? Serena was now more determined than ever to figure out what was going on. 

She wiped the tears off her face and steeled herself, before entering the pub. Raf and Alex were talking at the bar, but stopped when they saw Serena come in. Raf went straight over to her. 

‘How did it go?’

‘Honestly, I don’t know.’

‘What happened?’

‘I need to talk to Alex, and then I’ll fill you in I promise’

Alex heard her name and came straight over, looking over Serena’s shoulder for Bernie. 

‘She’s gone’

‘What happened?’

‘She was crying when I found her. Proper crying. I asked her why she wouldn’t talk to me and she said there were things I didn’t understand, that she couldn’t tell me. I asked her why and she asked me not to make her.’

‘And?’

‘I kissed her Raf… and for just a second, she kissed me back. But then she pulled away and ran off.’

‘She kissed you back?’

‘Yes… I know she likes me, what I don’t know is what she is hiding from me’

‘Serena, I…’

‘Is anyone going to tell me what I’m missing?’

‘I wish I could, but it isn’t my place to tell you. It’s Bernie’s issue and past, she has to be the one to tell you when she is ready’

‘I’m not sure she will ever be’

‘I don’t know, it took her two years to tell me. I had no idea anything was wrong until she broke down. But that’s all I can say Serena. She will come to you when she is ready, I know she will. You just have to be patient and give her time.’

‘You really think she will come to me? I hate to see her upset Alex’

‘Me too. I’m gonna go and check on her, make sure shes okay. I’ll catch up with you soon I hope. It was lovely to meet you both- I just wish it was under better circumstances Serena’

‘When you see her, can you please try and get her to call me? I’ll be waiting for her call. I cannot and will not let this go- she’s too important and we’re both in too deep to turn and walk away from what… this… us I mean.’

Alex threw her arms around Serena and dropped the piece of folded up paper into her pocket in that instance. She winked at Raf who blushed and ducked his head. Then she was gone. 

******************************************************

Bernie was collapsed in a ball in her hallway. She hadn’t moved since she’d got back to her flat an hour ago. Why had she kissed Serena back? That was really going to reinforce in her mind that the two of them were going somewhere. 

Every bit of Bernie ached to be with Serena- she knew why she had kissed her back. She had been unable to help herself in that moment- it had just felt right. But she knew that this was probably too good to be true. It had been the same with Marcus and look at how that had ended. 

Marcus and Serena coinciding together inside her brain was too much for Bernie to handle. The tears began to come thick and fast, and she put her hands up to her ears to try and stop the thoughts. It wasn’t somewhere she wanted to go back to- she knew she couldn’t do it again. 

‘Bernie…?’

Bernie jumped and opened her eyes and there were Serena’s eyes, peering at her through her letter box.

‘Serena… what are you doing here?’

‘Alex gave me your address. You don’t expect me to leave it like that do you?’

‘Serena, please, go home. I can’t do this, its too much’

‘Bernie, please let me in.’

‘No’

‘Why not?’

‘Because… Serena you need to stop this. We’re not going to do this over and over again. It’s not fair’

‘Tell me one thing. That kiss didn’t mean anything- that you don’t want to be with me and then I will go and never darken your doorway again. But you can’t and I know you can’t. You know why? Because I felt you connect with me on a different level when I kissed you earlier’

‘Okay, so I liked it. What difference does it make?’

‘Bernie, I know you’re hurting…’

‘What did Alex tell you?’

‘Nothing! She told me it wasn’t her place and that you would come to me when you wanted to. I’m here to tell you it doesn’t matter. I don’t care about your past. I want you, however long I have to wait for you to tell me’

‘You mean that?’

‘I promise. Please, let me in?’

Bernie made the decision then to try and be the woman who Serena deserved, the woman who she wanted to be for Serena. Yes she had been hurt and been through a lot, but when she was ready Serena would be there to listen and hopefully support her. 

Nodding, Bernie crawled over to the front door and opened it. Serena slipped inside and shut the door behind her, before dropping to the floor beside Bernie. 

‘I’m sorry…’

‘No talking. I’m here, that’s all that matters.’

Serena opened her arms and Bernie fell into them. She needed the comfort, right now more than ever.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments on kudos on this fic. Have written quite a few more chapters over the weekend, including the one where we finally get all of Bernie's backstory... hope everyone enjoys this one, a bit different to anything I've ever written before :)

HI BERNIE, JUST CHECKING THAT YOU’RE OKAY AFTER LAST NIGHT. Xxx

I’M OKAY, WELL AS OKAY AS I CAN BE Xxx

ARE YOU SURE, BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU DON’T HAVE TO PRETEND WITH ME? Xxx

I PROMISE. Xxx

WELL I’M GLAD, BECAUSE I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU. XXX

YOU DON’T NEED TO. XXX

DON’T NEED TO WHAT? XXX

WORRY ABOUT ME. XXX

I NEED AND WANT TO WORRY ABOUT YOU.

I CARE ABOUT YOU. LAST NIGHT MADE ME REALISE HOW MUCH. XXX

WELL THANK YOU. XXX

I MEANT WHAT I SAID YESTERDAY. I WILL WAIT HOWEVER LONG YOU NEED ME TOO, UNTIL YOU’RE READY TO TELL ME WHATEVER YOU WANT. XXX

I KNOW YOU DID SERENA. PLEASE YOU DON’T NEED TO KEEP MENTIONING IT; I KNOW YOU MEANT EVERY WORD. XXX

I DID, I REALLY DID XX

YOU WANT TO COME OVER TONIGHT? XXX

ARE YOU SURE? XXX

I WOULDN’T HAVE ASKED OTHERWISE, THOUGHT WE COULD ORDER A TAKEAWAY AND WATCH A MOVIE? XXX

IT’S NOT THAT I DON’T WANT TO, JUST MY DAD WANTS ME HOME ON TIME TONIGHT. HE’S GOT A SURPRISE FOR ME OR SOMETHING. NOT A GOOD ONE KNOWING HIM… XXX

WE CAN DO IT ANOTHER NIGHT IF YOU WANT? Xxx TOMORROW? XXX PERFECT. XXX REALLY WISH I COULD COME OVER TONIGHT, BUT I WANT TO KEEP MY DAD HAPPY. Xxx

IT’S OKAY, I UNDERSTAND. YOU’RE DAD NEEDS YOU, I GET IT. DON’T PANIC. I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. TOMORROW NIGHT IS FINE BY ME. I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. DON’T WORK TOO HARD. XXX I’LL TRY NOT TOO. SEE YOU TOMORROW XXX

NOT IF I SEE YOU FIRST. OH, KEEP YOU’RE EYES PEELED TODAY. XXX

FOR WHAT? XXX

NOW THAT, MISS CAMPBELL, WOULD BE TELLING! XXX

Intrigued, Serena put her phone in her pocket and pushed open the door to the staff room. Raf was clipping his identification badge to his scrubs, but when he saw Serena come in, his mouth broke into a smile.

‘Morning…’

‘Hey Raf, how are you?’

‘I’m okay, I was beginning to think you weren’t coming in today’

‘Sorry, I got side tracked at home’

‘Your dad giving you grief again?’

‘No, he just says he has a surprise for me tonight and I don’t know what’

‘Not a very good one I don’t think’

‘That’s literally exactly what I said to Bernie’ At the mention of Bernie, Raf’s smile widened.

‘Ah, so how are things between the two of you?’

‘Honestly, I don’t know if she’s as in to me as I am into her. But it doesn’t matter, because I know she likes me. She told me last night. I’ve been worried all night that she wouldn’t want to see me, because of whatever she has going on, but she asked me to go over tonight’

‘I take it you said you couldn’t, cause of your dad?’

‘I felt really bad, especially after she put herself out there to ask me, but I’m going over tomorrow now. But…’

‘But what?’

‘She told me to keep my eyes peeled today?’

‘For what?’

‘I asked her, and she wouldn’t tell me’

‘Ooh, I’m intrigued’

‘You and me both Raf’

*****************************

‘God, what a day’ Serena said to Morven as the two of them walked down the corridor after an exhausting four hours in theatre. Serena had spent the morning catching up on her paperwork, and after Fletch had been called away to another case, Serena had been forced to rope in Morven for an operation she had never undertaken. Serena wasn’t an expert by any means but she had had to stop and help Morven as she wasn’t familiar with the new equipment in the theatre.

‘I know… tell me about it. Fancy a drink?’

‘I can’t’

‘Ooh, got a date?’

‘No, my dad has a surprise for me’

‘Ouch.’

‘I know right’

Serena pushed open the door to the staff room and she turned away to hold the door open for Morven. When she shut the door, she turned back towards the table and stopped. On the table was an enormous bunch of flowers, and the large card bore Serena’s name.

‘Ooh, someone’s been a good girl’ Morven joked, evidently teasing Serena.

‘Morven…’

‘Need I even ask who they are from?’

‘I have no idea’

‘Serena, it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. They’re from your girlfriend’

‘My what?’

‘Bernie… you’re girlfriend’

‘I wouldn’t call her that, not yet anyway’

‘Oh, really?’

‘Morven, you’re getting as bad as the boys’

‘What can I say?’

‘You can say nothing’

‘Oh, touchy!’

Morven grabbed her bag off the bench and blew Serena a kiss before laughing and leaving. Serena waited until she’d gone and then she approached the table. The bunch of flowers was a bright array of colours. Pink, Red, Purple and in the middle, a single red flower, wrapped in a separate sheet of paper. Serena recognised the pink roses but the others, she wasn’t sure of. Curious, she picked up the card and opened it.

_**Inspired by our little trip…** _

_**Pink Roses- Momoirobara- Happiness and Trust** _

_**Red Peony- Botan - Bravery** _

_**Purple Pansy- Panji- Thoughtful and Caring** _

_**Red Camelia- Tsubaki- In Love.** _

Four types of Japanese flowers… four different emotions... inspired by Serena’s mum and their trip to the Japanese Garden in Tatton Park.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the love so far. Hope you all continue to support this fic for as long as I write it. Enjoy the update :)

‘Hey you’ Bernie answered the phone as soon as she saw who it was. She was on her way home after a rather uneventful shift, which had consisted of her and Alex trying to make their way the ever growing amount of paperwork they had, with little or no success. 

‘Hey… so thank you for my flowers. They were gorgeous’

‘Ah… so you got them then?’

‘Of course I did. The reference to Tatton Park and my mother… made me cry… you didn’t have to’

‘But I wanted to Serena. I don’t have to, I know that… but after yesterday and you jumping through hoops to make me realise we can be together, I wanted to. I… I… want you … to be proud to be seen with me… if we ever go public…’

‘Oh Bernie… I already am proud to be seen with you. You don’t have to be anyone but yourself.’

‘I know, but still… I’m not good at saying things, well at least not in the right order…’

‘You’re doing just fine, I promise you’

‘Am I?’

‘Yes. Believe me, you can say more than you know, and there are more ways of communicating that don’t involve talking. I told you yesterday, I’m okay. I just want you’

‘Well you’ve got me… if you still want me’

‘I just said I did. I’m at the end of my road now; I’m going to have to go. My dad…’

‘It’s okay; I have paperwork to do anyway. Speak to you tomorrow… do…. Do… do you still want to come over?’

‘Of course. Why wouldn’t I?’

‘Good. See you tomorrow then yes?’

‘Not if see you first’

Serena’s smile widened as Bernie’s laugh echoed down the phone. There was a moment’s pause as they both waited for the other to hang up, but neither admitting that they wanted to talk for longer. 

‘Bernie, aren’t you going to hang up?’

‘No, you hang up first’

‘No, you…’

The two of them smiled into the phone, almost cradling it against their ears, but when Serena reached the end of her path she whispered a very hurried goodbye to Bernie and went into the house, fixing her face into a monotone expression. 

‘Dad…?’

‘In here Serena. Come through’ 

Serena could hear talking in the living room, but the door was closed so she couldn’t make out what was being said. Hanging up her coat and placing her shoes in the rack, Serena braced herself for her dads ‘surprise’. And that exactly what she got… when she opened the living room door, she saw her dad sat in his armchair having an animated discussion with Robbie, who was perched on the end of the sofa. 

‘Robbie, this is a surprise, what are you doing here?’

‘Your dad called me last night… said you had a change of heart about us giving things a go.’

‘Did he?’

‘Yes, I must say I’m glad, because it felt like we had a connection…’

‘We have nothing of the sort’

Serena’s dad got up out of his chair and grabbed Serena by the arm and ‘led’ her through the French doors into the kitchen, out of earshot and sight. 

‘How dare you talk to him like that? He came all the way here’

‘I never asked him too, and what’s more neither should you!’

‘Don’t take that tone with me’

‘Dad! I told you I didn’t want to see him again… why you would go behind my back and invite him here, when you know I don’t want to see him?’

‘Because I’m your father and I know whats best for you, even if you don’t.’

‘He isn’t best for me. Dad, please…’

‘No, Serena. You’re 23, its time you stop thinking about your career and start getting out there to meet someone. I let you go through university to get your degree, but when your settled, you can always go back to work if Robbie agrees you can’

‘Wait a minute, agree to it? I don’t remember saying I have to ask permission. My job is important to me, I love it’

‘But Serena, it’s not right for a woman to get to 23 and not be in a committed relationship.’

‘I am if you must know!’ Serena shouted out the words before she could stop herself and then realised she couldn’t take it back. 

‘You’re what?’

‘I’m in a relationship…’

‘With who?’

‘I… Dad…’

‘If you tell me its Fletch or Raf, I swear I will go and break both of their legs right now’

‘No! It’s neither of them’

‘Well who is it?’

‘Dad…’

‘Serena, out with it!’

‘Dad, what do you want me to say?’

‘I want you to tell me the truth and stop lying. You aren’t in a relationship at all. You aren’t capable of getting out there and meeting someone for yourself. This is just an excuse to get out of seeing Robbie isn’t it?’

‘No! We are the real deal…. She means a lot to me… oh no…’

‘She! You mean to tell me...?’

‘Yes. I am in a relationship… with… with… a woman’

‘No you are not! You are not… not… I won’t have that. You are not a… queer!’

‘I am Dad. I really like her!’

‘Well you aren’t seeing her again, not if I have anything to do with it’

‘You can’t stop me.’

‘Yes I can. I’m your father, and you will do as I say. You’re 23, you know nothing’

‘Precisely. I am 23, and I am an adult. I can make my own decisions and I will not let you dictate my life anymore. I love my job and I will not let anyone else tell me I have to stop it. And as for Bernie… you don’t know her, or what we are to each other so you have no right to judge. I was stupid to think you might be a good dad and be happy for me!’

‘I don’t need to know anything about… it… it isn’t right!’

‘It? It’s not wrong. It feels right. But you wouldn’t understand.’

‘I am not having this conversation. We have a guest in the house, a guest who has come to take you out. Now, you will be a good daughter and a good woman and does as your told’

‘I will not!’

**********************************************************************************  
Morven was sat on the sofa, flicking through the channels, not really settling to watch anything when she heard the doorbell. It was half eight at night, who was ringing her doorbell to her flat at this hour? She got up and flicked the light on, before going to open the door. 

‘Serena! What are you doing here?’

‘My dad… I can’t stay there anymore. Can I stay here please?’

‘Of course you can. I’ve told you plenty of times, I have a spare bedroom for you whenever you want it.’

‘Thank you’

‘No worries. What happened?’

‘He set me up again. He reckons I should give up my job and be a good housewife… like my mum. I told him I wouldn’t and then I accidentally dropped Bernie into the conversation’

‘How did he take it?’

‘Not well. He said I was not too see her again, and that I would not be returning to work, so I left’

‘Good on you.’

***************************************************

HEY, I’M NOT LIVING WITH MY DAD ANYMORE- I MOVED OUT EARLIER. XXX

WHAT? WHY? XXX  
HE BROUGHT ROBBIE BACK TO THE HOUSE AND SAID I WAS GOING TO GIVE UP MY JOB. AND THEN HE SAID I HAD TO GIVE UP YOU XXX

ME? XXX

YES, YOU. I TOLD HIM WE WERE TOGETHER AND THEN HE SAID I WASN’T TOO SEE YOU AGAIN. SO I WALKED OUT XXX

SERENA, I AM SO SORRY XXX

DON’T BE, CAUSE I’M NOT. YOU’RE THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO ME IN SUCH A LONG TIME. I’VE HAD A HOLE IN MY HEART SINCE MY MUM DIED, AND SINCE MEETING YOU, ITS STARTED TO HEAL. I AM NOT SORRY FOR ANYTHING, SO YOU DON’T NEED TO BE. 

I LOVE YOU XXX

WHAT? XXX

I LOVE YOU XXX


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments on this fic. Means so much to me that everyone is liking the direction in which I have taken it. This chapter was a slight filler, before the mammoth of a chapter that will be heading next. I have no idea where the thing about Bernie having pineapple on pizza came from, but as its been in so many fanfictions, I decided to use it as well. If anyone has a problem, I will update it I promise.   
> Hope you all like it

The next day, Serena did what she knew she loved to- her job. She still couldn’t believe the audacity of her dad and Robbie. Why would they try and coerce her into giving up her job? It was the one thing she loved. Well, she had a feeling that after Bernie’s declaration last night, that before long, she would be saying those words as well. She wasn’t quite there yet, but she knew she was well on the way to reciprocating. 

‘Serena… are you okay?’ Raf rushed over and gave her a hug as he came onto the ward for his late shift as Serena was just finishing up. 

‘I’m fine. I feel better than fine’

‘I can’t believe you stood up to him. What was it that made you see sense?’

‘Him setting me up with Robbie, and the fact that they both said I was giving up my job’

‘Giving up your job? You would never do that? You love being a doctor?’

‘Precisely, but what made it even worst was I accidentally told him about Bernie’

‘You told him? How did he take that?’

‘He didn’t. He told me I wasn’t gay… well his word was queer… and he said I wasn’t allowed to see her again… he knows nothing and I walked out’

‘I’m so proud of you. You put yourself first for once’

‘There’s something else…’

‘What?’

‘I told Bernie, and she seemed to think it was her fault. I told her not to be sorry. I kind of poured my heart out to her, about how I’ve started to heal since I met her, and she told me she loved me’

‘Pardon me?’

‘That’s exactly what I said, she just text me and said it again. I didn’t reply but I spoke to her this morning’

‘What did she say to you?’

‘That she thought she had ruined it, but I told her she hadn’t. I’m not there yet I don’t think, but I know I soon will be. Now I’m staying with Morven, I can focus on the love I have for my job and my ever growing for Bernie’

‘Serena… I am so happy you finally stood up to your dad. When Morven rang me last night, I couldn’t believe it. Fancy a drink tonight to celebrate your new found freedom?’

‘I’d love to, but I made plans to go to Bernie’s tonight’

‘Ooh… did you now?’

‘Hey, less of that Raffael’

‘Ooh, using my full name. I must have hit a nerve’

‘You didn’t, but I will hit you in a minute if you don’t wipe that smirk off your face’

‘Touchy!’ Raf’s laugh echoed around the ward as Serena finished her paperwork and waved at him. 

***************************************************************************

Forty five minutes later, Serena arrived outside Bernie’s flat. Knocking the door, she smiled widely when it was opened almost immediately, as if Bernie had almost been waiting for her. 

‘Hi…’

‘Hey, how are you?’

‘Better for seeing you’ Bernie blushed a deep shade of red as she stood aside of the door, inviting Serena in. 

‘So…. Good day at work?’

‘So so. Though I seem to be the focal point at the moment because of last night.’

‘Well, you did a very brave thing Serena. You stood up to your dad; I just wish things were different for you… because of me…’

‘Stop it, I told you last night it wasn’t your fault. It’s been simmering for a while and when he told me I wasn’t to see you again I just thought, why am I doing this?’

‘Because he’s your dad, and you love him’

‘Yes, but I also love my job, and care deeply about you’

For the second time in less than a minute, Bernie blushed furiously and looked at the floor. She wasn’t used to getting compliments off anyone, and she couldn’t help feeling as if she’d put her foot in it after her declaration last night. She hadn’t known why shed sent it, but as she struggled to communicate at the best of times, she decided to send it otherwise who knows when she might have next had the courage to tell Serena how she felt?

‘You care about me?’

‘Deeply Bernie, you know that. So, what are we having for dinner?’

‘What’s your favourite pizza topping?’

‘Pepperoni yours?’

‘Pineapple’

‘Pineapple on a pizza. That is disgusting’

‘No it’s not.’

‘Well, I think it’s horrible. Just keep it away from me, I hate pineapple’

‘Guess that means no kissing later then? I’ll have pineapple breath’

‘Better get it over with then, don’t you think?’

In the two seconds it took for Bernie’s eyebrows to raise, Serena had closed the gap between the two of them. For a few minutes, Serena and Bernie stood in Bernie’s hallway embracing like they hadn’t seen each other in years, rather than a day. 

‘Wow…’ Bernie pulled back from Serena, peering at her widely through her fringe, searching for any signs of regret or unenjoyment, but Serena’s face was full of smiles and affection. 

‘My thoughts exactly…’

‘Shall we order the pizza?’ 

‘Yes, but you’ll have to order a separate one for you. Who orders pineapple on a pizza, that should be a criminal offence’

Bernie’s laugh echoed down the hallway, as she went to get her phone to order their takeaway.

************************************************************************************

As the end credits of their film rolled, Serena glanced over at Bernie, who was cuddled up next to her on the sofa. 

‘Hi’ she said softly, a tired grin spreading across her face. 

‘You’ve got ice cream on your chin’ Serena said fondly. Bernie eyes widened and she quickly wiped her chin, looking at Serena wildly. But Serena’s grin widened and then she impulsively leaned down and kissed Bernie on the lips. ‘You’re adorable’

‘Adorable?’ Bernie sounded sceptical

‘It’s a good thing’

‘Is it?’

‘To me, of course. Is it not too you?’

‘I know it isn’t true’ 

‘Why wouldn’t it be true?’

‘Because… because… I’m not Serena’

Serena reached down and intertwined her fingers with Bernie’s.  
‘You are adorable Bernie, I don’t know who or what has happened to you, but there is nothing you can tell me that will make me run a mile. I’m in too deep. Your message, last night… you meant that didn’t you?’

‘You know I did. I know you aren’t there yet, but I am. I can’t say it very often, but it took me a lot to say it. Do you want me to take it back?’

‘I already told you I don’t. I loved what you said, I’m so glad you said it and I really don’t want you to say it. Being with you, makes me happier than I have ever been. I know there are things we don’t know about each other, but that will come with time and trust. I am not going anywhere. You’re text last night didn’t scare me off’

‘I want to tell you…’

‘Bernie, you don’t have to. Not until you’re ready’

‘I think I am, as long as you stay with me, please’

‘I told you I’m not going anywhere. I’m in this for the long haul I promise. I… I just realised… I love you as well’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended it in a slightly different way. The next chapter will be an immediate continuation of the next chapter, and it will contain Bernie's backstory. Hope you enjoyed it :)


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is... the chapter many of you have been waiting for. I hope the wait was worth it. please keep the feedback coming- I welcome any constructive feedback on my fic. This is so important to me right now- it holds a really important place in my heart x
> 
> Trigger Warning- Rape, Sexual Abuse...

‘You… you…’

‘Love you Bernie’

‘You… you… I thought you…’

‘Thought what?’

‘Thought you… weren’t there yet?’

‘Well I think I am. I cannot stop thinking about you. I am not going anywhere, and being with you has made me happier than I ever been. That’s because of you.’

‘You… you’re talking like…?’

‘I have never fallen in love before. I used to look at my friends during uni, and the way they were in love and I thought that was something I was never going to be able to have… and I don’t mean just the attraction between two people. I mean… walking into a room and having someone who is happy to see you. I know I don’t have to say everything to you Bernie, because you seem to get it, just like I do with you. I’m not sure, but I think these feelings have a name… I love you Bernie, I really do’

‘You mean it don’t you?’

‘I really do Bernie, I really do’

‘I love you too’

‘You don’t have to say it back to me, just because I said it Bernie. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable’

‘But that’s just it, I’m not uncomfortable. I’m exactly where I want to be- here with you. But I am scared Serena’

‘Of what?’

‘That what I am about to tell you will make you feel differently about me.’

‘Nothing you tell me will change how I feel about you Bernie. But you don’t have to tell me if you aren’t ready, I mean it’

‘I want to. I don’t want there to be any secrets between us’

‘Bernie, are you sure?’

‘Yes’

Serena squeezed her hand and ran a hand down Bernie’s cheek, trying to convey all the reassurance that she could. Bernie stared at the floor for a while, wondering how and where to start. She had only ever told this to Alex before, and that was only by accident. Serena was the first person she had wanted to tell, and she had to trust her sense of judgement. 

‘Bernie, you really don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. You can tell me when you are good and ready.’

‘No, I want to…’

‘Well, if you’re sure, go when you’re ready and from wherever you want to’

‘He… he took so much away from me. I can’t let him take away any more of my life, or my future. Whatever happens between us… I can’t bury it anymore’

‘I think we will be just fine Bernie’

‘We don’t know what will happen in the future, but I really hope we can go the distance. I want him to know that I can do it. I can be in a relationship and be happy’

‘Why?’

‘Marcus…’

‘Your stepdad?’

‘When he first met my mum, he was the brilliant father to me. I adored him. But then when he moved in, everything went wrong’

‘In what way?’

‘I… I…’

‘Bernie, it’s okay, I’m here. Look at me’

Bernie peered at Serena through her fringe and Serena was stunned to see just how petrified she was- she could see it shining in her eyes, along with the tears that were welling up at the tiny corners of her eyelids. What they were tears for and of however, remained a mystery.

‘You won’t leave?’

‘No, I’m not going anywhere. Do you want to stop?’

‘Stop..?’

‘Telling me. It’s upsetting you and I can see how much it is taking you to tell me Bernie. You really don’t have to’

‘I want to… I also need to’

‘Are you absolutely sure Bernie?’

‘Yes. Where was I?’

‘He moved in’

‘Until that point, he’d been nothing but a brilliant example and role model to me, so I had no reason to think anything was wrong. Then my mum said he was moving in- I was thrilled. I remember he moved in the day before my eleventh birthday and he was my birthday present- a new dad.’

‘Aww, sounds nice…’

‘It was, at the time. And for a time after he moved in, he wormed his way into my trust and good books. But then when my mum began to work late, he changed. He… lingered in my room after I’d gone to bed, I’d feel his… leg on mine… under the table at dinner. I don’t know why I didn’t see the signs… I was stupid.’

‘Bernie, did he…?’

‘Serena, please let me talk, because if I don’t say it now I never will.’

‘Okay’ Bernie felt Serena squeeze her hand but she was too busy wrapped up in her memories of her adolescence to pay attention. 

‘One day… I came home… and he’d taken the lock of the bathroom door… and he kept coming in while I was having a shower. He kept making comments about my figure. I asked… I asked him to stop, but he ran his hands through my hair, touching my cheeks and… telling me… I was his special girl… that was the first night… the first time…’

‘Bernie…’

‘The first time he… raped me Serena. I felt… disgusting and dirty. The next morning he acted like there… was nothing wrong. Then… he proposed to my mum. I… I wanted to tell her… but he said I would ruin her happiness. He swore that if I told anyone… he would kill everyone I loved. From that minute, I rejected him… and he made it plain he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. But he… he still… raped me when my mum was at work, which was at least once a week… once a week, every week, for two years. He… he swore… when they got married it would stop, but it got worst. It started to get more often… him saying how much my pretending to hate him… turned him on. I wasn’t pretending anything, I hated him. Then Cameron was born, but it didn’t stop him. He said it meant we were even more connected and drawn to each other than we had been before. Only when Charlotte was born did he stop, I was 16 by this time…’ 

Bernie had been unable to stop herself from stopping anything when she had started. She knew she had one shot at telling this all to Serena. Bernie hadn’t looked at Serena throughout her talking, she knew if she saw anything in her eyes then she would probably die right here and now, because it had everything she had inside of her to show Serena her soul. 

The silence between them felt like it could have been hours when in fact it was only seconds. Every second that passed, Bernie felt more and more insecure, until she got up off the sofa and walked out on Serena. Going into the kitchen, she leaned her head against the fridge door and closed her eyes. Boy did she wish she could be anywhere else right now. 

‘I’m so sorry…’ came the voice from behind her, thick with emotion and husky, as if Serena was struggling not to cry. Swinging around, Bernie saw Serena hovering in the doorway, her head downwards. 

‘What… why are… why are you apologising?’

‘For… for what you went through. Bernie, I can’t believe you went through it on your own’ 

‘It’s… please… don’t pity me... I…’

‘I don’t pity you’

‘No, I bet I can guess what you’re thinking… I’ve told you my story… and now you see me for what I am… a washed up and damaged girl who doesn’t deserve to be happy…’

‘Bernie, stop it! You’re right, I do see you for what you are, but what you are, is an extremely tough and resilient person who’s been through one of the worst things I could ever imagine and has managed to do something good with her life. Bernie, what you went through is unimaginable and I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am that it happened to you, but it doesn’t define you. I have no idea what you must have been through, but I can guess you must have felt incredibly alone. And to shoulder this for so long without confiding in someone…’

‘I only told Alex, because she kept pushing me about my past and one day I snapped. I didn’t feel better telling Alex because she almost dragged it out of me, but I… I feel better for telling you, because you listened and well you said it hasn’t changed anything…’

‘Why would it change anything? You haven’t done anything, and you haven’t changed’

‘It changed me Serena. I’ve buried it for so long, buried it and locked it away. I so wanted to not let it affect me but it still does. I tried to build walls around me, to protect myself and shut myself off from any kind of affection. And it worked, for the majority of the last few years…’

‘Until me?’

‘Yes, until you. The connection we had, I never had that with anyone and the way things developed between us, it scared me so much. I was convinced it was too good to be true Serena, that you were too be good to be true. And I thought if I opened up, you would be snatched away and I would be broken all over again. I still worry that might happen… the places I’ve been to into my head, I can’t go back there again. Not after barely surviving the first time- Marcus nearly killed me’

‘It won’t happen again.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because I’m here… you are not on your own, not now, not ever, do you hear me? I love you, and I said I wasn’t going anywhere. I meant it.’

‘Serena…’

‘Bernie, do you have any idea how proud I am of you? You didn’t have to tell me, but you did. You opened up and showed me the real you and I love you even more for it. I can see how much of a big deal that was for you, and I am so… I can’t believe you put yourself through having to relive it, just to tell me. I love you so much Bernie, please believe me’

‘Thank you’

‘For what?’

‘Being you. For not giving up on me, even when I pushed you away.’

‘That’s what being in love is Bernie.’

‘And we are aren’t we… we are in love?’

‘Completely and utterly. Come here’

Serena opened her arms and that triggered the floodgates from Bernie. She burst into tears and practically threw herself into Serena’s arms. Gripping her tightly, Serena began to cry softly when she heard Bernie’s uncontrollable sobbing. And that’s where they stayed- sobbing together in the dim light of the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there you have it. Bernie's story. Hope you enjoyed it :)
> 
> For anyone affected, I am really very very sorry. :(


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I haven't been able to update in a while- spent the weekend camping with a bunch of 8 and 9 year olds. Thought we were due a light and cute chapter after the heaviness of the last one. I'm so glad you all enjoyed it- I was so nervous writing it. Hope you all enjoy the chapter, and see what you make to the unusual ship I might be introducing? Be interested to know your thoughts...

‘So, how did it go with Serena last night?’ Alex broached the subject carefully over their sandwiches. She’d noticed that Bernie seemed calmer today, like she’d finally made peace with herself and laid her demons to rest. 

‘Well, better than I could have hoped for.’

‘Did you…?’

‘What?’

‘Tell her, about Marcus?’

‘I wasn’t going too, but after she told me she loved me, I…’

‘Back the truck up a minute, she told you what?’

‘She told me she loved me. Seems moving out of her dads has done her the world of good’

‘Wait, what? When did she move out of her dads?’

‘Day before yesterday’

‘Why?’

‘Her dad set her up with that Robbie character again and she didn’t want to go. But then they both said Serena had to give up her job, and Serena decided she’d had enough. But then she inadvertently dropped me into the conversation and he snapped. Called her queer and said she wasn’t. When he said she wasn’t allowed to see me again she snapped and moved out. She’s at her friends’

‘And why didn’t you think to tell me about any of this?’

‘Because you’re a nosey cow at the best of times’

‘Fair point I suppose… so when did those three words make an appearance from her?

‘She told me that she’d moved out and I thought it was my fault, but then she told me how she’d had a hole in her heart and it had started to heal since she’d met me, and I text her back with the words first’

‘Wait, you mean, you told her you loved her first?’

‘I didn’t mean to, it just slipped out. I’d sent it before I realised. I thought I’d blown it but last night Serena told me she loved me as well. So then I decided to tell her.’

‘About Marcus and what he did to you?’

‘Yes, I thought when I told her she would see me for what most people do, but she didn’t. Well she said she didn’t.’

‘You told her everything?’

‘Yes, I wanted to. She is the first person who has pushed down the walls I put up between myself and the outside world. The first person, who has tried, wouldn’t let me push them away. I know I have you Alex, but we’ve been best friends for 15 years- you knew me before all of this happened. I pushed everyone away but since meeting her… I don’t know, I’ve changed somehow, on the inside, I can feel it… does that sound silly?’

‘Not at all, and you’re right. You are changing- for the better. It shows on the outside as well’

‘What?’

‘Bernie, today you seem so much more calm… but I can see the smile on your face and the pain behind your eyes is gone. Sharing your history isn’t a bad thing Bernie, I know you- you’re afraid to let people in because you think they’ll leave you. But if anything it’s the exact opposite Bernie- Serena is still here yes?’

‘Yes’

‘And she probably loves you all the more for it’

‘She said she does’

‘And you believe her?’

‘Yes’

****************************************************************************************

The rest of Bernie’s shift passed by as quick as it had ever done. She loved her job, but now she was finally beginning to see that there was a life beyond the four walls of the hospital. As Bernie unlocked her locker and picked up her phone, she saw she had a text from Serena. 

HEY GORGEOUS. AM OUTISDE, READY WHEN YOU ARE? XXX

HEY YOURSELF, JUST FINISHED. I WILL BE TEN MINUTES, WAIT INSIDE, YOU’LL CATCH THE DEATH OF COLD OUTSIDE XXX

IS THIS HOW IT’S GOING TO BE, YOU ORDERING ME AROUND ;) XXX

MAYBE XXX

ARE YOU OKAY? XXX

I’M FINE SERENA, I’LL BE DOWN IN SOON I PROMISE, SEE YOU SOON. XXX

NOT IF I SEE YOU FIRST XXX

!!! GOOD JOB I LOVE YOU SERENA CAMPBELL XXX

 

‘Drink Bern?’ Alex’s voice interrupted her exchange with Serena, but Alex saw the huge smile on her best friends face told her she was in the middle of something and she raised her eyebrows mockingly. 

‘Sorry, got plans. Serena’s outside. Maybe tomorrow?’

‘Sure , no worries. Have fun tonight. You deserve more than most to be happy’

‘Thanks for everything Alex. You’re an amazing friend’

‘I have my moments I suppose’

**********************************************

As soon as Bernie left the lift, she spied Serena, leaning against the wall just inside the door to the hospital. Their eyes met and both of their faces lit up like a christmas tree. Bernie waved and she walked over as fast as she could. 

‘Hey! Sorry to keep you waiting’ 

‘You didn’t. Good day?’

‘Was okay, better now you’re here’

‘Aww, stop that, you’ll make me blush’

‘Its true. Your day been okay?’

‘Paperwork mainly. Listen, feel free to say no…’

‘To what?’

‘Fletch and Raf are coming round to Morven’s tomorrow night- pizza night and they asked me to go. They said I should bring you, I wondered if you fancied it…’

‘Meeting you’re friends?’

‘It’s a bad idea isn’t it?’

‘No… it’s just I’d feel a bit left out.’

‘I thought of that, maybe Alex would like to come along too? She’s already met Raf and made quite the impression on him if I’m being honest’

‘Really?’

‘I mentioned her, and he looked away at the floor. I suspect he is rather keen on her’

‘Well, in that case I’d love to…’

‘You sure, I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything?’

‘I’m not. I’d love to come and meet your friends. And I’ll bring Alex along as well. Her and Raf have been good friends to us- maybe its time we repaid the favour’

‘What are you planning Wolfe?’

‘I’ll fill you in, don’t you worry. Are you sure your friends are okay with me coming along?’

‘Yes. It was their idea, they are desperate to meet my girlfriend’

‘Girlfriend, is that what I am?’

‘Oh god… did I say that out loud?’

‘Yes’

‘If its too soon…’

‘Nonsense, it’s not too soon at all. So, I’m your girlfriend am I?’

‘If you want to be…’

‘Of course I want to be. I want that more than anything Serena’

‘Good, because I want it very much as well’

Serena held out her hand curiously, wondering if Bernie would take it. Benrie’s face searched Serena’s for a minute, before she spied Serena’s hand in front of her. Taking it, she squeezed it and breathed out easily.

‘Shall we?’

‘Where are we going?’

‘Candelit dinner for two, sound nice?’

‘Oh Bernie, you didn’t have to’

‘I know, but I wanted to. Want to treat my girlfriend’

‘I just want to spend as much time with my girlfriend as possible- she knows that right?’

‘She does’

‘Can I ask you a question?’

‘You can ask me anything…’

‘Does Alex have pineapple on her pizzas too, or is that just you who commits a crime?’

Bernie’s mouth broke into a grin and she laughed, Serena falling even more love with her- if that was possible.   
‘That’s for me to know, pineapple isn’t a crime you know’

‘Oh it is Bernie believe me… tomorrow you will find out how much’

‘Just how much trouble am I going to be in?’

Serena grinned and whispered in Bernie’s ear  
‘That’s for me to know’


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope we all enjoy this chapter. Thought I would keep the fluffiness going for a little while longer. Was another filler chapter before the pizza evening... I will endeavour to get the next chapter up as soon as possible, but it might have to be in the new year! Am busy with work, but I have up until chapter 45 written. Anyway, heres the latest update and I hope everyone enjoy it. I would love the feedback on my ship of Raf and Alex...???

‘Why on earth would I want to come and spend a night with your girlfriend and her friends Bernie? I hardly know any of them’ Bernie hadn’t had chance to mention it to Alex all day as they’d been in theatre trying to save a patient impaled on a telegraph pole. This had been the first chance, as they made their way back to get changed after their shifts had finished.

‘Because it will be fun, and Serena asked me to bring you along’

‘Why?’

‘Because… because she wants to get to know you Alex. She said that we wouldn’t be together without you and Raf… she’s right, she wants to thank you’

‘She can buy me a drink then, I don’t want to sit around with a bunch of strangers all night’

‘They are not strangers. You know me, and you’ve met Serena… oh and Raf’

‘Is he going to be there?’

‘I believe so. Come on Alex, you know I’d do anything to support you… Serena has only just moved out of her dads, and I think we all want to make sure she doesn’t change her mind, so please, come…’

‘It doesn’t look like I’ve got much choice does it?’

‘You’re the best friend in the world’

‘Flattery gets you nowhere with me…’

‘Yes it does, you know it does. Meet you downstairs in 15?’

‘Sure, looking forward to it’

****************************************************************************************

‘So, is Bernie able to make it tonight?’ Morven broached the question as they got off the bus after their shift. A relatively quiet in all honesty.

‘Yes, I asked her yesterday and she seemed up for it. I think she’s bringing Alex- I’m not sure’

‘Would be good to meet her, them both finally. Raf was very sceptical about them both when I asked him what they were like’

‘What did he say?’

‘That he could see why you were involved with Bernie, and that Alex was one of the most striking women he had ever seen…’ Morven saw the mischevious grin spread across Serena’s face and she stopped mid-sentence… ‘What is that grin for?’

‘We’re trying to set the two of them up…’

‘The two of them as in Raf and Alex?’

‘Yes, Bernie said it would be a good idea. Raf seemed to like her, and they’ve both been brilliant friends as of late, so we wanted to thank them’

‘By setting them up together without telling them? You and Bernie are playing a dangerous game Serena…’

‘We know what we’re doing…’

‘Sounds like you’re both asking for trouble, but I’m not going to argue with you. I learnt a long time that arguing with you, is something I won’t venture into, because I never win’

‘I like to debate…’

‘Debating is not the word for it Serena. Arguing is…’

Serena surpressed a laugh as she felt her phone go off in her pocket. Pulling it out, she smiled when she saw it was Bernie. 

HEY GIRLFRIEND, MAKES ME FEEL SO HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO CALL YOU THAT! ALEX SAID YES TO LATER, SO IT’S ALL SYSTEMS GO! XXX

HEY YOURSELF. I LIKE SEEING YOU CALL ME GIRLFRIEND AS MUCH AS I LIKE HEARING YOU CALL ME IT. THAT’S GREAT. I JUST TOLD MORVEN WE ARE SETTING THEM UP, AND SHE SAID WE WERE PLAYING A DANGEROUS GAME! XXX

DANGER IS MY MIDDLE NAME!! XX

WHAT? BERENICE DANGER WOLFE…?? XXX

HAS A RING TO IT DOESN’T IT!!! XXX

OKAY… HOW BAD IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME? XXX

YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW. XXX

THAT’S WHERE YOU’RE WRONG, BECAUSE I REALLY REALLY DO. XXX

NO YOU DON’T XXX

I’LL TELL YOU MINE IF YOU TELL ME YOURS XXX

BLACKMAIL MS CAMPBELL? XXX

HEY, I WOULD NEVER RESORT TO SUCH DESPERATE MEASURES… COME ON WOLFE, OUT WITH IT, WHAT IS IT? XXX

OKAY… BERENICE GIRSELDA WOLFE. XXX

GRISELDA… WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT? Xxx

SOMETHING TO DO WITH EUROPEAN FOLKLORE MY MUM SAID… COME ON CAMPBELL, WHAT’S YOURS? XXX

WENDY. XXX

SERENA WENDY CAMPBELL, I LIKE THAT. CUTE XXX

AND OLD FASHIONED!! XXX

ITS NOWHERE NEAR AS BAD AS MINE SERENA, SO BE GLAD FOR SMALL MERCIES!!! XXX

BUT STILL… BOTH OUR PARENTS MUST HAVE THOUGHT WE WERE BORN IN THE DARK AGES. MINE IS HORRIBLE, BUT YOURS… XXX

I KNOW, I KNOW. YOU DON’T NEED TO RUB IT IN XXX

SORRY… I DIDN’T THINK! XXXX

I’M KIDDING CAMPBELL… XXX

WOLFE!!! XXX

WHAT? XXX

I LOVE IT WHEN YOU’RE LIKE THIS… XXX

WHAT? OLD? XXX

NO!!! OPEN AND THE PERSON THAT I FELL IN LOVE WITH. XXX

I’M ABOUT TO WELL UP HERE. THAT’S SO SWEET!!! XXX

I MEAN IT XXX

I KNOW YOU DO. I LOVE YOU XXX

I LOVE YOU TOO. MAKE SURE ALEX IS ON TIME… RING ME WHEN YOUR OUTSIDE AND I’LL COME DOWN AND MEET YOU BOTH XXXX

OOH, MY OWN PERSONAL ESCORT, YOU’RE TOO KIND. XXX

YES I AM… YOU’RE A VERY LUCKY GIRL BERNIE. XXX

I KNOW XXX

DO YOU? XXX

SERENA, YOU KNOW I DO. XXXX

AWWW, NOW I’M THE ONE THAT’S ABOUT TO WELL UP. I’LL LOOK LIKE A RACCOON! XXX

NONSENSE… YOU COULDN’T LOOK BAD IF YOU TRIED. XXX

SPEAKING OF WHICH, WE HAVE TO GO AND MAKE OURSELEVES AND THE FLAT LOOK PRESENTABLE… EVEN IF YOU THINK I DON’T NEED THE EFFORT. XXX

I DON’T THINK YOU DO, BUT I CAN APPRECIATE THE EFFORT FOR DEFINITE. XXX

GOOD, YOU’RE THE ONE I’M MAKING THE EFFORT FOR. XXX

I SHOULD THINK SO… DOES RAF LIKE MUSHROOMS ON HIS PIZZA? XXX

YES… WHY DO YOU ASK? XXX

CAUSE THAT’S ALEX’S FAVOURITE PIZZA TOPPING… XXX

AHH, SO YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO DOES THE CRIME COMMITTING? XXX

I FORGOT, I’M GOING TO BE IN TROUBLE ARENT I? xxx

GOT IT IN ONE… AND DON’T FORGET I KNOW HOW MUCH. SEE YOU LATER, LOVE YOU! XXX

NOT IF I SEE YOU FIRST!! LOVE YOU TOO… XXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there you have it.   
> Merry Christmas everyone!!!


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, happy new year!! Sorry for the radio silence I;ve been mega busy and haven't had access to a computer for over a week. Heres the update, hope you enjoy it :)

_**Hey gorgeous, hope you’re head is okay this morning- Alex is feeling sorry for herself (even more so than usual.) xxxx** _

_**Hey yourself! My head is okay thanks. I wasn’t the one drinking loads. I should think she is feeling sorry for herself. What on earth possessed her to challenge Raf to a game of shot draughts? He’s never lost a game and I don’t think he plans to start any time soon. Xxxx** _

_**She is a heavy drinker and I thought she would beat him too if I was being honest xxxx Ah Berenice, you disappoint me xxx What on earth can you mean Serena Campbell? Xxxx I thought you knew how to pick a winner- not back the loser xxxx** _

_**Hey!! Don’t let Alex hear you say that. I back my friends, but in this essence Raf proved more than a match for her! Xxxx** _

_**I knew the two of them would hit it off… you could just start calling me Cupid xxxx** _

_**Cupid? There hardly Holby’s answer to Romeo and Juliet, or Jack and Rose.. xxxx** _

_**They aren’t very good examples my love being as most of those people died…. Xxxx** _

_**Oh god they did, didn’t they? Xxxx** _

_**I hope you don’t mean Raf and Alex will die xxxx** _

_**No!! Serena, I meant, the love they had you know?? Xxxx** _

_**I know what you mean… god you are so easy to wind up, bet you’re blushing now aren’t you! Xxxx** _

_**Maybe, maybe not. And by the way I can pick winners… xxxx** _

_**Can you Bernie, can you really? Xxxx** _

_**Yes and I can prove it. Xxxx** _

_**This I’ve got to hear, go on then. Xxxx** _

_**I have you…. Xxx** _

_**I’m sorry? Xxxx** _

_**I have you. And every minute that I have you I am winning… xxxx** _

_**Winning what? Xxx** _

_**The war against my pathetic life. You’ve changed everything. I’ve never felt like this about anyone as quickly as I fell for you. In fact I’ve never loved anyone. After Marcus I was too scared to get close to anyone, but now I have you I’m finally living again. It sounds stupid but you’ve brought me back to life Serena- in every instance. I am winning every day, because I have you… xxxx** _

_**Oh, Bernie, you are going to make me cry. That is so lovely… I’m going to be in no state to save lives today. Xxxx** _

_**You do it already Serena, you are saving my life every day. And with my birthday in the not so distant future, I think this may be a reason to celebrate. Xxxx** _

_**Wait, it’s your birthday? When? Xxxx** _

_**Next week. I normally hate it, because it reminds me of my birthday when Marcus moved in- he was the worst birthday present I’ve ever had…. But somehow I think this year could be different xxxx** _

_**It will be, I’ll make sure it’s a birthday to remember. Well at least one that you don’t want to bury away. I will do my best to make you happy Bernie. I love you lots, you know that right? Xxxx** _

_**You may have mentioned it once or twice. Serena, you don’t have to prove anything to me. Having you with me is enough of a present. That’s all I want for my birthday- you. Xxxx** _

_**You’ve got me already. Bernie it’s your birthday, I have to get you something special. Xxxx** _

_**I don’t need anything Serena, all I need is you, I promise. Xxx** _

_**Bernie you have me, I am not going anywhere, but its your birthday. What day next week? Xxx** _

_**Thursday? Xxx** _

_**Okay, I don’t have long to get something organised. Leave it with me… xxxx** _

Hey Serena, how you feeling this morning?’ Raf suddenly appeared in the staff room, looking rather well kept for someone who had been up until the early hours battling a stubborn brunette in Shot Draughts.

‘I’m fine- I should be asking hows your head? Apparently Alex is feeling rather sorry for herself this morning’

‘And so she should be, but pass on my commiserations on her losses against me last night, although she was a rather exciting opponent. I take it you’ve spoken to Bernie then. How is she?’

‘Bearing up quite well actually. She’s in reasonably good spirits. Where’s Fletch?’

‘The wuss phoned in sick this morning. Can’t handle his booze this morning. Morven?’

‘On the late shift. Got the flat to myself tonight’

‘Ooh, planning a romantic night in with Bernie are we? Are you two going to you know…?’

‘No!’

‘That’s a very definite no.’

‘It is.’

‘Ever the gallant Serena. Can I ask you something?’

‘What?’ ‘Would it be incredibly weird if I ask Alex out?’

‘Pardon me?’

‘I don’t know, she’s your girlfriends best friend and I don’t want to make things worst. Maybe I shouldn’t’

‘Raffael Di Luca… it is most certainly not a bad idea… and it will not be awkward. I was right, you do like her’

‘I wouldn’t go that far…. Hang on, what do you mean you were right? Who were you talking to?

Serena said nothing, only raised her eyebrows knowingly.

‘Bernie? What are the two of you crafty devils up to?’

‘It was what we were up to last night actually. We set you and Alex up. I knew you would hit it off, and don’t you dare say you haven’t’

‘Alright, you got me’

‘Never kid a kidder. You better go and show your face on the ward before Ric comes looking for you’

‘Is he in one of those moods?’

‘Unfortunately yes…’ ‘Uh-oh. Okay, I’m going!!!!’

 

_**Raf’s going to ask Alex out. Xxxxx** _

_**He said that to you did he? Xxxx** _

_**YES! Just now!! Guess you can call me Cupid after all! Xxxx** _

_**Guess I can. I’ll call you whatever you like Serena, as long as you’re happy xxxx** _

_**I am Bernie, deliriously so! Xxx** _

_**Good, because that’s all that matters to me xxxx** _


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone... sorry about the radio silence. I have been debating a lot whether to carry the fic on because of comments I've had... but after a gap, I deciced to post the chapter anyway....

A rather quiet day on AAU had lead to Serena being sent home early. Having only done half a day herself, Bernie had only been too happy to drop her non-existent plans for an evening of movies and popcorn with her girlfriend. As soon as Serena saw Bernie in the car park, her grin broke into a wide grin and she propelled herself as fast as she could over to her, before throwing her arms around her. 

‘Hey!’

‘Hello yourself, you seem happy to see me’

‘Why wouldn’t I be?’

‘I don’t know… it’s only been a day you know Serena!’

‘If the grin on your face is anything to go by, you missed me as much as I missed you!’

‘Alright, you got me!’

‘I have haven’t I?’

‘Of course you have. You aren’t going soppy on me are you?’

‘Seriously Bernie…’

‘Seriously nothing Serena, I have you, you have me.’

‘You think so?’

‘I don’t think… I really really hope so…’

‘Me too’

Serena returned Bernie’s nervous smile and extended her hand shyly, giving Bernie the opportunity to resist, but she got an unexpected surprise when Bernie, without hesitation, took the hand that Serena had outstretched. 

‘So, busy day?’

‘Not really. I’m glad I was on half a day-Nina is always on my back lately. The trauma course that’s being run- she won’t even consider me or Alex for it. Apparently I’m too immature’

‘She told you that?’

‘Yep, this morning.’

‘Bernie, she can’t do that. That’s bullying’

‘I know, but what can I do?’

‘Report her?’

‘And let her make my life even more of a misery Serena? No, I’m better off keeping my head down’

‘You could transfer…?’

‘Transfer? Isn’t that like running away?’

‘I wouldn’t call it that. Which is the nearest hospital to yours?’

‘This one…… Wait! Serena, are you suggesting I ask to move here?’

‘And she finally gets it! How many more hints was I going have to drop?’

‘You really want me to come and work here?’

‘You’re really unhappy Bernie, and I know Ric would love to have someone else on the ward with your skills.’ 

‘You think?’

‘I don’t think, I know’

‘Okay’

‘Is that a yes?’

‘It’s a… I will talk to my CEO in the morning and see what she says’

‘I have had a lot of brainwaves lately. Alex and Raf, you transferring…’

‘Now, now Serena Campbell let’s not get ahead of ourselves’

‘Who’s getting over their head Bernie?’

‘Me maybe… I had an idea… feel free to shoot me down if it’s a bad idea…’

‘If what’s a bad idea?’

Bernie was about to reply when the sound of someone shouting behind them made them turn around. 

‘Serena!’ To say she was shocked to see her dad hurtling across the car park was an understatement. 

‘D… Dad?’

‘So you’re it?’ his question was gestured in the direction of Bernie

‘I’m sorry?’

‘You’re the silly queerbaiter that poached my daughter’

‘I haven’t done anything of the sort Mr Campbell.’

‘Dad, please, don’t do this here…’

‘I have to do it here Serena. You’re still playing silly beggars and refusing to come home. Enough of this nonsense, get in the car and come home’

‘It’s not my home anymore’

‘Serena, I’m your father, you will do as your told’

‘I will not. I am not coming home and I will not give Bernie up’

‘Oh yes you are’

‘I am not’

‘Yes you are!’

‘You sound like a bad pantomime act Mr Campbell. I appreciate that my relationship with Serena that must have come as a bit of a shock, but I promise I love her, I am not going to hurt her’

‘You cannot love her, you cissy. You barely know her’

‘I know her better than you ever have with all due respect. Why do you think she couldn’t tell you about us?’

‘Because this… this is all in your head. You’ve plied my daughter with emotional nonsense… its abuse’

‘I am not being abused Dad’

‘Serena, leave it’

‘Bernie, I will not let him play the victim’

‘Better than this… this… fraud playing a victim just to get into your knickers!!’

‘Doing what?’

‘You heard me! I’ve met your type before. My daughter might be naïve but I am not. I know you’re game, she’ll put out and you’ll dump her. I bet you’ve had lots of people. How old were you when you first did it? 10?’

Bernie did what she always did when confronted with her past. She turned and ran. Away from Serena’s dad who was hurling abuse at her. Away from Serena, who was shouting her back, her voice about to break. With each tear, Bernie’s walls came tumbling down. As she ran, the tears in her eyes turned the bright blue sky into a whirlwind of greys and yellows. She slammed into the bathroom door. She didn't care who saw. She just broke down. The sobs punched through, ripping through her muscles, bones, and guts. She pressed her forehead against the wall and began to let her heart yank in and out of her chest. It pulled back in like a yo yo. Over and over. In and out. She was hollow. Her life crumbled in her fingertips. Then, suddenly Serena was there patting and rubbing her.

 

‘I… I am so sorry. I don’t know what’s got into him. Bernie, I am so so sorry’

‘It’s… o…. o… okay… n… n… no… not your…. Not your fault’ Bernie managed to choke out in between sobs. 

‘It is… this… this is all my fault’

Bernie shook her head furiously and stayed silent for a moment while she composed herself. Steeling herself for looking like a coward in front of Serena’s dad, she put on her battle face, but one look at Serena she crumbled again. 

‘This is not your fault Serena. It’s his fault. I’m sorry you’ve been bought up with him’

‘Hey, I’m okay, this is about you!’ 

‘I’m okay Serena, I swear’

‘You don’t have to pretend with me you know?’

‘I know, I swear I’m fine. I could kick myself for running away like that. His words just cut me like a knife, really upset me’

‘I could kick him’

‘Don’t worry. He lost because you’re here with me when he wants you to be with him.’

‘There is nowhere else I would rather be Bernie, I promise’

‘I know’

‘What… what was your idea?’

‘Sorry?’

‘I don’t know, you were going to tell me!’

‘Oh that! This…’ Bernie reached into her trouser pocket and pulled out a padlock with a key.

‘I’m confused’

‘Serena, you mean you don’t know this tradition?’

‘Should I?’

‘It’s a way a couple says they love each other’

‘Is it?’

‘We’re supposed to write a message on it and padlock the lock. Then we throw the key somewhere where no one knows and keep the lock somewhere different. In Japan, it’s a romantic tradition, it’s silly isn’t it?

‘No, it’s not. I love the idea. Did my mum inspire this?’

‘She may have done…’

Serena wrapped her arms around Bernie and poured all of her emotions into the hug, charging the moment. Her dad had no idea just how special Bernie was- look at everything shed done for her. And with her birthday around the corner, Serena was beginning to form a plan in her mind…


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, here is the next chapter. A different take on this one.... I really really hope I have Bernie's frame of mind right- I havent experienced anything as bad as what I said she has, but I know what its like to run away from everything. For anyone that is interested, the song is Tattoo by Jordin Sparks. It means a lot to me, and I thought I would involve the lyrics in this chapter.   
> Feel free to leave any comments

‘I really am sorry about my Dad you know. He had absolutely no right to talk to you like that.’

‘Serena, it’s okay. He’s set in his ways and in his eyes I’m the devil who’s manipulated his daughter’

‘But you haven’t. Why can’t he see that?’

‘Because he has a narrow mind and can’t see beyond the bridge of his nose. Serena, its okay. I understand why he said it, doesn’t mean it’s right but I’m not going to hold anything against you’

‘But you should’

‘Why should I?’

‘Because it’s my fault he said that. Because I moved out’

‘Serena, will you listen to yourself? It is not your fault. You moved out because you finally had enough of the way he was treating you. I was so proud of you when you did that… your happiness is far more important to me, you have to know that’

‘I do, but I still feel like it’s my fault’

‘I don’t blame you. I just didn’t like being reminded of what I went through. This is you, you’re blaming yourself Serena and it’s not fair’

‘I love you, you know that’

‘I do believe you have mentioned it to me once or twice. I love you too’

Serena gave Bernie a small smile and rested her head on her shoulder, her hand snaking round Bernie’s back and pulling her closer. Bernie smiled behind her hair and the two of them lapsed into a comfortable silence. The walk to the park had been filled with silence- a disjointed one. Serena couldn’t help but blame herself herself for her dads outburst and Bernie was trying to fight her first instinct to run away from the whole situation. 

But now they were in the park, Bernie’s mind was only one thing- and that was making Serena see what she was to her- absolutely everything. She’d been through the worst childhood she could have possibly had at the hands of Marcus. She’s thought her chances of ever feeling loved, safe and secure would be a million to one after she’d built up all the walls around her. She had no other option if she wanted to protect her heart- she had to stop herself from trusting so easily. Bernie knew it had been her trusting nature that had made Marcus do what he did to her- and she had been determined not to succumb to that kind of abuse again. 

That’s why she had spent years running from anyone who could possibly want to get close to her- it was easier than trying to confront what she had going on inside her own head. Running away and burying her head in a bottle of whisky was how Bernie had dealt with all of her problems- it was the safest and only option as far as she was concerned. 

Until Serena. 

Her chance meeting with Serena had blown apart her walls and they’d come crashing down. For a split second, Bernie had imagined being in a happy relationship and it had seemed so unrealistic for her- it was something she was sure she would never be able to have. Because of her past- all she let it do was interfere with her future. Then Serena had chased away her demons and Bernie was slowly confronting what he had done to her- and she found herself excited at the prospect of a future with Serena. 

‘Everything okay?’ Serena’s voice interrupted her thoughts. 

‘What?’

‘I asked you what you wanted to write on this lock, but you’re away with the fairies. If you aren’t up for it anymore, its okay’

‘No I am most definitely up for it. Sorry I was just thinking…’

‘About what?’

‘I never thought I could have this’

‘Have what?’

‘A relationship with someone’

‘Because of Marcus?’

‘It broke me… what he did to me. I never thought I could or would have a shot at a remotely normal life. I always thought people would run away if they found out I was… damaged…. In a sense I almost hoped they would, because it would stop me confronting what I had going on inside me. I’ve always been running… for years I’ve let the past dictate my future. I’ve felt so alone and so… so out of step with the rest of the world… but now’

‘Now?’

‘I’ve started to accept that what happened to me was disgusting but I can’t let it define me. I am confronting my demons and laying my skeletons to rest, but I have never felt stronger. Because I have you, and now I think… well I hope… that we can have a future together. A normal life, which I never thought I would have. That’s because of you’

‘Oh Bernie… you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You’ve been fighting this all your life’

‘And I’ve been losing. Running away is the worst feeling in the world, because you feel like your useless at everything Serena. I can’t fully explain my headspace but I feel stronger. Stronger because I have something to fight for.’

‘You can’t win if you don’t fight’

‘What?’

‘Japanese quote my mum said to me once. It just came back to me. You’re fighting and you’re winning. Give up the fight and you lose’

‘Your mum sounds like an amazing woman Serena’

‘She was, I wish you could have met her’

‘She’s still with you, she’ll always be with you. She’ll be a part of everything you do, she’s on your heart’

‘Just like a tattoo’

‘You know that song?’

‘Of course I do. Everytime I hear it I think of her, the chorus especially. I realize, nothing's broken, no need to worry 'bout everything I've done, live every second like it was my last one. Don't look back got a new direction, I loved you once, needed protection. You're still a part of everything I do. You're on my heart just like a tattoo’ Serena began to sing the song in a sweet singing voice that gave Bernie goosebumps down her spine. 

‘If I live every moment, won't change any moment. Still a part of me in you, I will never regret you. Still the memory of you marks everything I do’ Bernie finished the song in a slightly wobbly voice but she knew how powerful the words were, shed listen to the song so many times. 

‘I didn’t know you knew that song’

‘Most people haven’t heard of it I know, I heard it when I looked up some words for the eulogy at my mums funeral. Since then I listen to it often. It’s about moving on from someone you love but you can’t because they are always with you’

‘Just like your mum’

‘Yes, just like my mum.’

‘How about we put that on the lock?’

‘What?’

‘Tattoo… and put todays date. Almost as if you’re involving your mum in some ways, even if she isn’t here physically she is in your heart.’

‘You are so amazing. Has anyone told you that?’

Bernie smiled and drew out the lock, along with the permanent marker. Writing the word tattoo in her neatest penmanship, she etched the date underneath and then looked at Serena for approval. When Serena nodded, tears forming in her eyes, Bernie unlocked the lock with the key and pressed it into Serena’s hands. 

‘Now where to put it?’

‘How about the railings? They were the first thing I saw after you saved me. And I know my mum would always be sure to find the lock, if its in such a special place for me. It’s as good a place as any I mean’

‘I think that’s a brilliant idea Serena’ 

Stepping forward, Bernie locked the lock around the railings at the parks entrance. Together they watched it for a minute and then unanimously they turned their backs and headed off into town, both slightly worn down but safe in the knowledge they were stronger together.


End file.
